Has someone lately hinted you that you are selfish or that you do not care for other people’s feelings? If you have been told that you always seek attention and you have intense and unstable emotions, you may have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, commonly known as NPD.
People with this order have a sense of superiority and have a habit of exaggeration. They feel righteous and have high expectations from people for special treatment. They will only care about their own goals and ambitions and may use people around them for their accomplishments. They have a set mentality and do not like to configure their opinions and views as it fills them with a feeling of failure. These people are worst at handling criticism and are largely ego-centric.
If you associate yourself to anything above, this article can be helpful. Although the irony is that if you are a narcissist, then you would never agree you are anything that has been stated. People around you may have to give you a reality check or someone should be writing this to you. But if you have dealt with comments that suggested you have NPD, which you then tagged as ‘mean’, then this is the right time to pay attention. This disorder commonly exists among people who haven’t had good experiences with their past or have some biological problems.
Here is a list of things that you should consider doing, if you have NPD.
BE OPEN TO LISTENING
A narcissist would never pay attention to somebody else’s opinions and would always label themselves as the right one. You must realize that you should be open to hearing what others have to say about you. If people are constantly telling you that you are mean and you are full of yourself, then you should pay attention and try mending your actions. Talk to your loved ones and listen to them. Let them speak about your behavior and how your motives hurt their feelings. Initially, it will trigger emotions of remorse and panic, but you have to remember that you are signing up for better things and an improve self. There will be sentiments of self-loathing and you may feel undignified but realizing that these are people that love you and root for your growth and betterment, things will turn out for good.
The main reason why the world complains about you is that you lack empathy. You don’t care what other people are going through and if by any chance you help them, you feel they are obliged towards you for a lifetime. This is the reason why they do not have gratitude for things you do for them. The sense of self-importance you have ingrown bothers the people around you and makes them feel lesser and ill-treated. You must practice consideration. You should make efforts to talk to people and should listen to their problems. Be genuinely interested in their stories and don’t cut them while it’s their chance to speak. Also, respect the fact if someone does not want to share his or her story with you. You may be intruding their personal space. Practicing empathy also means you should gracefully take ‘No’ as an answer.
STOP MAKING EXCUSES
If you have no intention of going out with that person for a movie, then do not commit. Don’t make plans because you are image conscious and you want to be likeable when you eventually have to make a random excuse and abscond at the last moment. Just remember that your empty promises are filling people around you with negativity and they end up feeling foolish to have made a plan with you. They surely notice your excuses and would never want to hang out with you anymore, just because they know you are not a person who sticks by her words.
Think before you act
Narcissistic people fail to have control over their actions. They react in impulse and never regret it. This hurts fellow people but they never buy the idea of amending their ways. If you genuinely want to erase your name from the category of narcissist people, you must indulge in some thought process. You should think twice before framing your sentences. Think about how the other person would feel. When you do something, try figuring out if that would hurt anyone. Likewise, if someone couldn’t keep up his/her promise, don’t jump into conclusions. Be mindful and wait for them to explain. They may have a legitimate reason for not showing up or for cancelling at the last moment.
Try exploring art
Art is all about creativity and expression. If you take up an art, you will learn several unimaginable ways of expressing a thought. You will be able to see things with different perspectives. Consume movies, music, paintings of different forms and do not judge them. Think of why they made this piece or what could be a possible reason for them to arrive at such a narration. This will help you understand other people and you would foster an ability to figure out what’s running in other people’s minds. None the less, you will develop a hobby and gain some peace of mind.
If you think that non of the above is giving you positive results, then you may consider taking medical help. Psychotherapy is a great way to curb this disorder and understand your personality better. So, consider visiting a therapist and work on balancing your emotional and mental stability.