Whenever you are in a new relationship, you are blinded. Everything seems perfect and you can’t help but just skim through all the obvious red flags because you so are so head over heels in love with this person. The butterflies don’t leave you and you are day dreaming almost throughout the day. You are still in the honeymoon phase where you see nothing wrong with each other. But trust me this is soon going to be over and you will be finding faults with the very traits that you fell in love with.
You must have had a few questions about his past here and there but you just chose to bury them initially for the fear they you might just turn him off and so you kept these issues for later. If he has so confessed about being in a relationship previously, you would like to know if he is completely over her or not. This is obvious. However, you are stuck and cannot yet figure out how to come about with those questions, here are a few signs that you look for if you want to be sure if your partner is still over his ex or not:
She is still on his phone list
I completely get it is someone wants to stay friends with their exes. Even if it sounds okay to some, it is a red flag for many. What was in the past should be buried there having nothing to do in the present context. However, if your partner still has her contact number updated and you can find them still in touch sharing their littlest details, it’s not a great sign. You should be the one getting that place if you were that important and not her.
Her pictures and old messages are still there
It is quite common for people to burn down the memory lane with their exes after a break up. However, still holding on to those memories and reliving them is a clear signal that he still isn’t completely over her. Deleting is the norm because it helps you get over the pain that constant sight of those memories might cause. But if he has a secret file (or not!), he is still clinging on to her memories. You should find a way out of here as soon as possible.
She finds a place in your conversations
If you have been with someone for long, it is quite habitual to bring them up most of the times. You may not do that consciously but the fact that your sub conscious mind hasn’t been able to let go off their thoughts, you constantly stay in that zone with your ex. So, if your partner drops her name here and there and in fact makes comparisons with you (in a bad way!), it just means he still considers her the touchstone of all that you do.
He still expresses grief over that breakup
Your partner is still so hung up on her that he cannot figure out a way from that breakup. He still laments over what went wrong and how he could be done things differently and how he regrets everything that happened, he has not been able to give up in the relationship. Internally he might still be looking for chances to get back with her. If your relationship started after a long time he broke with his ex, it surely is a red signal that you have signed up for a massive heart break.
He didn’t let go of her stuff
He still holds his gifts very close to his heart. Not just does he have them carefully stacked in his closet but also keeps one of them with him all the time. Gifts hold emotional value and if your partner is still very possessive about those gifts, then he hasn’t yet been able to let her go away completely. You could try understanding the real status of his attachment by asking him to give them back to her and if he still doesn’t budge, she is still super important to him.
They still meet up without your knowledge
You are still a secret and he is always making it a point to meet her whenever he can. You know that he visits her at her place and has even stayed in touch with her parents. He refuses to give out any detail and has never mentioned you to her. He is also having these secret conversations with her through different channels. He is still hoping that the flame will ignite back again and he could get another chance with her. If these signs are pretty much obvious, you should open your eyes to the reality that is right in front and take immediate action.