Sometimes it gets very difficult to understand whether your partner truly love you or he feeds on the control that you allow him to have over you. It is quite humane to have people do what you want them to especially when they try to be or do things that’s completely the opposite you how look at things. You may find it completely normal but understand the signs, and you will discover very subtle ways in which you are being controlled.
There are two ways in which your partner can express him control over you. Your boyfriend may either be physically controlling, that is, he uses violence to tell you what to do. Here the signs are pretty obvious. On the other hand, he might be emotionally controlling. This is where it’s more confusing. He will shower you with all the love he can and you will want to do everything possible to keep him happy. But either way, you end up getting hurt because you cannot pretend to like being controlled forever.
He never appreciates what you do.
He never recognizes your work. You are made to feel like whatever you do, it never worthy enough or that without his help you are nothing. Whatever you do, he will always manage to pick faults with it. There is absolutely no respect that is meeted out to you and you are left to believe that he makes your life better and without him you are nothing. This kills your confidence and you become dependent on him for the littlest of things which makes him feel better about himself.
He tries to dictate who you should hang out with
He doesn’t seem to like your friends much and tries control what kind of people you should go out with. Most of the times, he speaks ill of those you know. In case you have male friends, he gets over protective and makes you cancel plans with them. He feels that they are interested in you. If you want to have him in your life, you should let go of your friendships just because he doesn’t approve of your friends
He is very inquisitive.
He is so inquisitive of all that you do that it will almost feel like you need his permission to take every decision of your life. You are stalked. He even forces you to share all you social media passwords just so that he knows what you are up to. He doesn’t like being secretive nor does he lets you be so. If at all he finds out there is something you didn’t tell him, he can’t handle it and makes you feel guilty.
He won’t tolerate not being a part of whatever you do:
He wants to be with you all the time. Whenever you tell him that you wish to be with your friends for a sleepover, he goes crazy. He might put you through silent treatment, or show his rage through sly remarks. His excuses are in place to blame you for his sadness.
He will never share the blame:
He will never take the responsibility for anything wrong that he does. Anything that goes wrong with him is your fault. If he makes a mistake you are supposed to just let it go and never talk about it again. He will remind you every moment that you are imperfect. In case you do the same thing, you are expected to bow down before him and apologise. He will make it a point to blame you repeatedly.
You find yourself lost at times:
You have been manipulated into believing that you can’t be happy without him. He convinces you to believe that if he is happy you should be too, if he is not, you shouldn’t be happy as well. You feel like there is nothing better than him that could ever happen to you. All of a sudden you feel like he is the master who is supposed to rule over you. You become slavish and lose your individuality
You should see to it that you are happy at all situations. No one should dictate what you do and how you should do it. A healthy discussion with your partner is always the right way to do things when you are in a relationship. But when you see yourself doing what he wants compromising on your respect and rationality, you should be alarmed. This isn’t heading anywhere.
If you notice these signs in our partner, speak with him. Let him know what doesn’t suit you. You will definitely find a middle way out if at all he accepts that things need a change for the relationship to survive.