There is absolutely no relationship that is devoid of arguments. In a relationship this can sometimes actually be quite healthy. Whenever you have an argument with your partner you need to understand the underlying cause of it for certainly you have been ignoring their needs or wants and you need to do more. During fights you need to realise that this is not a war- like situation where you need to win at all costs. He is not your foe and you won’t win anything by putting him down. He is your partner and no matter who gives up, if you win you win together if you lose you lose together. Here are a few things you need to remember while arguing with your partner: If you use these tips carefully, no matter what kind or degree of fight you have your partner won’t lose his respect for you.
Avoid the silent treatment:
This is the worst thing that happens when you express resentment with your partner. You are expected to tell you partner what went wrong and what is bothering you. Accordingly he can try and devise ways to undo what he did (In case, he is the one at fault!) You might consider giving him the silent treatment as the best way to deal with the situation. But that might worsen it for might feel like you are trying to ignore him completely.
Don’t resort to violence
This is the worst way to deal with a situation. It shows your disrespect for the person. Whenever people want to prove themselves right or wish to win an argument at any cost, they get physical. In fact, they try to test their physical might on those who cannot fight back. In most cases, it is women who cannot fight back. It only happens when the perpetrators knows that they have nothing logical to prove their stand with. So, beating their partner up is the best way to show who is the boss.
Don’t look down upon your partner:
Just because you are having an argument that doesn’t mean that you will try to ridicule or resort to mud-slinging. You might even wish to hurl abuses at them during your conversation. In fact, you will want to go to the extent of bringing up issues that have nothing to do with the situation at hand. You fight because you want to be heard not because you deliberately were looking for a situation to make your partner feel bad about himself.
Avoid statements like “You are a loser!”, “You have a lacking life”, “Your parents kicked you out for good”, “What good have you done with your life?”, “You will never be good enough”; and the list can go on when people hurt each other intentionally. Be sensitive during an argument. you won’t get your point well placed if you hurt him and cause irreparable damage.
You already lose the argument when you decide to blackmail. It only shows how weak you are and how malicious your intentions have been all this while. It reflects to what degree you would go just to have your needs met. Arguments should not lead you to breakups right away.
Argue to get something good out of the relationship mutually instead of seeking benefits for yourself. You might think that he would get scared and comply but for how long will he be scared? There will come a time when he would no longer care. So, maintain your dignity and think before you speak.
Avoid digging up old tales
There is no point holding up to previous arguments and bringing them back up again. Old problems should not be dug up just so that you win the situation. Deal with what is in question. The more you stray from the present conversation, the more you accumulate problems. If this is the issue every time you fight, then be assured that your partner will eventually stop communicating his problems with you for you will never agree or accept your faults.
Avoid having mitigations through third parties:
This is a strict No No! Others can only convince your partner for the time being but not for long. This is because your partner will listen to them only out of respect or mere consideration just so that their opinion is not ignored. But the baggage of complaints will linger. In fact the third party might get blamed later or become the enemy once both of you get back together or in the worst case, you separate. If at all this third person takes either side, the other partner might feel like you have intentionally ganged up to put them down. Keep your relationship private. Others don’t need to know your problems. They will only gossip later and make you the butt of ridicule.