Are you getting married soon? We might argue on the correct age to get married or the fixed amount of money we can save before we can finally decide to get hitched. You might have your own set of reasons to decide to get married at a certain time. But what truly can ensure that you have done all you could so that your future isn’t jeopardised? Marriage is a serious decision. So don’t be swayed by the social media or how many of your friends are getting married this year to decide on this very crucial step. Here are a few things you should do before you rush into the idea of getting married.
Do you have a good amount of savings?
You can just not afford to depend on your man for the finances. Money matters are very important while deciding on marriage. The way you earn, how you save and choose to spend will affect your relationship a lot. Make sure that your finances are well grounded and you are not struggling with an even flown of money as a result of an unstable occupation. Also, stop depending on your parents’ finances for important decisions of your life such as this. You might want an extravagant wedding but there is no point accumulating debt just before you marry and end up with misery later in life.
Where do you stand in the relationship?
Marriage is never a solution to all your relationship problems. Be absolutely sure that you are absolutely happy in the relationship before you decide to get married. In fact, if you feel like marriage will solve all your woes, you are mistaken for it might add to your troubles or aggravate it. Ask yourself all the necessary questions about whether your love is strong enough, are you stable enough to handle problems, does he allow you to take independent decisions, etcetera
Are you comfortable with sharing your space?
If you are someone who likes her own space and doesn’t like any encroachment in to it then you should question yourself is you can deal with a man who would soon be sharing your space. Of course marriage doesn’t mean that you give up on your me- time but it’s more a matter of compromise and adaptation. You should be able to coexist for initially sex may rule the bedroom but later important issues will want your attention. Also, little things like his dominant habits might make you angry. So make sure you are habituated with his style of life before you get married.
Are you mature enough?
You may be great with facts and people consider you intelligent. But are you emotionally difficult? Can you make informed choices in the midst of turmoil? Do you know yourself well? Unless you do, how will you make decisions that involve the two of you and even the family that you will be bonding with after your marriage? Smartness is no test of emotional intelligence. Unless you can hold yourself and deal with adversities without depending on anyone you shouldn’t get married. This is like inviting tonnes of trouble in the future.
Are you sure you can handle each other?
Many couples have a hard time dealing with each other. Relationships after marriage take complete u- turns for some people. Your priorities tend to be different and there are chances that people take each other for granted. Make sure you can actually stand by the vows that you make. You need to be able to be with each other, stand with each other through thick and thin till death. Before marriage, your relationship may have been all about hitting new pubs, restaurants, parks, movie nights and sex. With time, work and money matters take the centre stage. Make sure you have all these matters discussed beforehand.
Has the idea of marriage finally sunk in?
It may seem like a happy thing to get in to right now. It might feel very great to think about all the preparations and activities right now, but do you realise what kind of restrictions will marriage bring along with itself? You will finally have to bid goodbyes to your whims, be more sacrificial, have to give up on random flirting, being carefree, etc.? You will also have to give up on the possibility of meeting newer people. Does this scare you? If it does, then maybe you should give marriage a rethought. If not, then you truly love this man enough to let go of all the advantages of singlehood.
Marriage is a risk. It might be worth taking or not. This will depend on the kind of person you are. But make sure you have all the above mentioned questions answered before you head on to take one of the most important decisions of your life.