Being manipulated is the worst thing someone can out you through by playing with your emotions. Manipulators are smart with the tactics that they use and most of the times, you will not be to recognise the tricks that they use to exploit you perpetually. What you can do is to get more conscious about the way you feel when you are around this person. If you feel happy, burden less and strong, this person is good for you. But if you feel caged, helpless and weak when you are around a person, you have fallen into the manipulator’s trap, whether you agree or not. When in a relationship, we tend to give in to the other person just because we either want to avoid the harsh confrontation with this person or just for the fact that we wish to please them. While initially the manipulator might try to sugar coat stuff with time, it turns into ultimatums coupled with verbal abuse and threats.
Act when something happens against your wishes:
Every time you are made to do something or asked to do something that your heart says a big ‘No’ to, you should be saying an immediate ‘No’! The more you show the manipulator that you are powerless, the more he/ she gets the idea that this can keep continuing. When you feel horrible around this person, as much as you should convince yourself to accept the state that you being kept in, you should also start judging the person for what he does to you and not what you are made to believe.
Underline what you are willing to accept:
You should try and analyse what your life principles are before you are finally willing to bargain on what you are ready to accept and what not. This is when you will understand what you value in life. If you are willing to emerge out of the manipulation that you are suffering every day, you need to stop taking things as it is put before you and look out for the hidden agenda behind all that is asked of you. This is the first step towards showing your partner that you are not scared and more confident about yourself. That, you will not accept that you are put through just because you are in love. [Read: 8 Signs your partner tries to manipulate you!]
Work on your individual growth
More often than not your manipulator will take advantage of the fact that you are dependent on them for your survival. This may be financial or emotional. The moment you start working on yourself and take decisions to survive on your own, you send down a clear message that you don’t really bother about doing whatever you are asked o because you are capable enough to do things on your own. So, work on your personal growth so that you can be firm with regard to the decisions that you will take to free yourself from this manipulator. [Read: 5 Ingredients for a successful career]
You should set your emotions aside:
Most manipulators feed on the emotional weakness of people. If you are too gullible, he/ she will try and manipulate you without your knowledge. They will tell you exactly those things that you wished to hear but beware that this is just for the time they get the work done by you. You should let your emotions aside while dealing with this person and always ask them what they want from your directly. Your mutual happiness should be your utmost concern when you are with the person you love. But if the very happiness is one- sided and you are left being ever- giving, you should just walk away. [Read: 8 Ways Emotionally Strong People Deal With Difficult People]
If you feel suffocated fulfilling all the whims and fancies of your partner, you should let them know first how you feel. Look for their reaction. Sometimes, people may be manipulative even without their knowledge. If that is the case, you should be willing to offer your partner some help so that they can rectify their behaviour. If your partner acts the same way and shows no empathy when you confront him, then this is just how he wishes to operate his whole life. A partner lacking empathy is toxic. There are high chances that this person will never change.
Ask your close ones to help
It might be difficult for you to stand up and fight against your manipulator all on your own. In such situations, you should let your close ones know what is happening and set out a plan with them so that they are aware. Before things escalate to the point beyond repair, you should get whatever help you can. Support is extremely necessary. This way you will not just be involved with your life but also let others take charge when necessary. [Read: 7 Suggestions to Help You Stop Being Needy in a Relationship!]