Cheating can be devastating in a relationship. This is regardless of the reasons you may have had for cheating on your partner. While there are many ways of cheating on your partner, whichever way you choose is wrong nonetheless. Nonetheless, that is not always a reason why people give up on each other. To err is human, to forgive is divine. As clichéd as it may sound, some people are able to forgive each other and move on looking at the bigger picture that they have created for each other. While it may be unacceptable for some, for others it is easier to look past beyond their partner’s mistakes. Here are a few things that you should be doing in case you have cheated and you wish to mend the problems created thereafter. This list will also be useful to those who have been cheated on as well:
Avoid the person you had an affair with
You should never stay in touch with this person if you wish to mend your present relationship. If you still wish to stay in touch, it only means that you still care and have an emotional attachment. You will find it difficult to convince your partner that he/ she can trust you even after you have cheated and staying in touch will make it worse. To convince your partner you need to be able to show it in your actions and the first step towards that is cutting off all ties with the person you cheated on your partner with.
Look out for possibilities to work things out
It isn’t great to just assume things all of a sudden. There are possibilities that things may work out just fine if you can manage to work together and fill the lacunae that cause your partner to cheat on you. You might have been responsible to some extent for the entire unfortunate act that left your relationship broken. Analyse by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. If possible, work it out. You might emerge out stronger if the right kind of effort is put forward. [Read: 5 Signs you are afraid of intimacy in a relationship!]
Accept the blame
If you have cheated, you need to accept it rather than coming up with one excuse to cover up what you have done. Unless you accept the blame you will keep continue to prolong the healing process and will fail to work out things positively. There may have been issues simmering which showed up finally in the form of an affair that you had with someone else. But the basic fact remains that the foundation had cracks which you should take the responsibility for since you cannot wash your hands off by shifting the blame. [Read: 5 Ways to stop being the Problem in the relationship]
Avoid talking about it constantly
If your partner cheats on you, you will definitely have the urge to know what happened and what triggered them to do something so cruel to you. While there might be details that you will not be able to process, you will still wish to know. It is suggested that you should limit these talks and instead focus on creative things to distract yourself and your partner away from what happened. So, if you are really interested in mending your relationship you will have to make the effort to do the little things that you partner likes and even start things from where you took off during the early days of the relationship. [Read: Why do women accept cheating husbands?]
Your partner needs space
If your partner has been too attached to you, he/ she might choose to stay distant and resort to passive aggressive behaviour. While it can be confusing and frustrating, you will have to deal with that given the fact that you have committed the greater mistake. So, be patient with them. While you might want to have instant results, you partner might be so devastated that he/ she may take the time to forgive you and start living a normal life with you back again. Face your partner and let him/ her know that you are there to make amends. The efforts need to be sincere. If they feel your efforts are genuine, they will recover sooner from the heartbreak. [Read: 7 Ways to give space to your partner!]
Seek the help of a counsellor
You will always have a biased outlook when it comes to your relationships. Even if you don’t want to you will try to prove that your version is correct. In a situation where you have cheated, you should seek the help of a professional counsellor who will direct you into looking at the problem from a larger perspective. This will help you look at your problems objectively and come up with solutions with the help of an expert.