Do you always end up being in the wrong relationships? Do you feel like you need a break for now? Are you looking for ways to stay single for sometime so that you are ready before you make the next move? Some of us are not very lucky in love. Like you, I have been in the same situation in the past where I have killed myself searching for what went wrong and why I end up being in the sane state all the time. I realised it’s time I take a break from romance and indulge in some “me-time” unless I am truly ready to mingle.
The irony is, when you are not looking for relationships, people come drawn towards you like magnets. So, here are ways you could stay single for some time now, not because you are lacking something, but because you need to get answers to questions that you have always been seeking, those that have always left you unfulfilled in relationships.
Stop thinking about what people’s expectations are
One of the prime reasons why we make hurried decisions in choosing our partners is because we find ourselves in a state of panic when people expect us to get settled. They make us feel like we are not complete on our own. We get emotionally blackmailed into settling for just about anyone. Don’t think about marriage. Don’t think about kids. Don’t stress yourself about your biological clock ticking. Your happiness is more important than the expectation people have of you.
Make a bucket list:
I am sure you must have dreamt of a thousand things to do. Make a list. Do you wish to have a hot body, do you wish to travel solo? Do you wish to learn to bake? Do them! No matter how ridiculous it might sound at the onset, write it down. Doing this will help you set your priorities. You will start enjoying your single life for will you concentrate on yourself. This is what you need the most after going through several breakups. Re-discover yourself.
Don’t close the door for men:
Staying single doesn’t mean that you start hating men. There is no reason to do that. Just because someone was a douche, that doesn’t mean everyone will be so. Don’t convince yourself to push away every man you meet. If a man approaches you, don’t be rude. Accept it, go out, have fun instead of being all too serious right away. If you don’t want to decline politely. You are staying single to become better. There is no harm exploring all the possibilities and understanding who is closest to your idea of a partner.
Analyse what led to your breakups:
This is a perfect time to ponder over your mistakes and how you can learn from them. Work on what went wrong. You can’t blame it all on your partner(s) all the time. You have your own set of shortcomings as well. Accept it. You are not perfect. If you wish to change your flaws, this is the time you should utilise. Don’t give it your all when you start a relationship. Don’t get so invested in it that you forget to analyse if he is the right one for you. You don’t need to explain yourself to someone all the time just because you are in a relationship. Instead of killing yourself for your past, extract the lessons and move on.
Focus on your career:
Become financially independent. It is important that you are standing on your own two feet before your jump into another relationship again. When you are busy chasing a great career, you will focus lesser on romance. If you have been dependent on men to look after you, make sure you don’t repeat the same mistake again. Dependency makes you weak. Don’t let anything distract you from your goals. When you are financially strong and you have your needs met, you make better choices. You don’t just get attracted to what looks great on the surface, rather you look beyond it. Staying focused will help you avoid jumping into a relationship mindlessly.
Keep social media away:
Social media may indirectly manipulate you into being in a relationship. Try and stay away from it for sometime if you thinking it distracts you. Let not your friends and their happy relationships make you jealous. Just because they have found their soulmates before you, that doesn’t mean you need to jump into a relationship. Instead, you can use social media to show off what good single life can do. Don’t let people trick you into falling for something you should be avoiding right now. If you are losing focus because of social media, leave it aside for some time. It’s not running away and neither are you.