Emotional abuse appears in very subtle forms that are easily overlooked. While physical abuse is visible and can be proved, emotional abuse takes place in ways that cannot be traced prima facea. The perpetrator of emotional abuse is basically manipulative and sweet talks is the most effective tactic that he uses to control you. You may not even realise that you are being used and tricked into doing something that your rational mind would otherwise never allow. In fact you start believing that you need to please this man unless you lose yourself respect completely.
What you miss here is the fact that your over attachment to this person is ultimately leading to emotional abuse that you don’t at all realise. Emotional abuse is like slow poison. You don’t understand that it’s a weapon killing you unless you actually get poisoned to death. Emotional abuse usually starts slow. And the fact that it starts in inexplicit ways you will never realise it because of the love that you harbour for your partner. What is explicit is the way you feel helpless, weak and stressed when you are around this person. Here are a few signs that you are suffering emotional abuse:
You are scared of your partner
A relationship should be one of equals. If you are scared to communicate with your partner and tell him what you feel, then you are suffering from emotional abuse. You are aware of their reactions to your queries and intolerance when you voice your concerns. This has practically rendered you weak and humiliated. [Read: 6 Signs your partner is trying to control you!]
He points out your flaws
Teamwork in a relationship means that both of you stand by each other and pick each other up despite the flaws or shortcomings that either of you have. If your partner keeps ranting about your problems and tells you how inferior you are, then he is putting you through emotional abuse. In fact in an emotionally abusive relationship he acts like you matter the least to him and doesn’t leave a chance to magnify your smallest flaw. [Read: 8 Reasons why a bad date shouldn’t dishearten you!]
You are always compared
If your partner compares you incessantly with your friends or his friends and tells you that you are no good then he cares the least about how you feel in the relationship. Backhanded compliments are even worse are easy to overlook. His comparisons will take even more indirect forms where you are compared to celebrities or he starts taking interests in fantasising about them openly in front of you. [Read: 9 Tips for women that will keep men hooked forever!]
He never takes responsibility
In an emotionally abusive relationship you will find yourself at the receiving end of all the flaks. The fact that there is no mutual respect and recognition, no matter what you do you will always face his wrath. Everything is your fault. He never takes responsibility of whatever he does and whatever it is that he goes through, you are again the only one to blame. Sometimes these blame games take very subtle forms where he will pass sarcastic remarks only at other times he may just burst his anger at you. [Read: 6 Signs that tell he is just not that into you]
You don’t understand his behaviour
You are too confused about who he really is. Sometimes he acts like your well wisher and at other times he leaves no stone unturned to humiliate and hurt you. You are always in a dilemma because you never know how he will react to things. Sometimes, you will actually feel like there is something wrong with you. When you try and get strict with him, he begs and cries and you can’t help but melt at that state of his. All in all your rational bent of mind is so crippled that you cannot make decisions for yourself. [Read: 5 Signs that you are in the wrong relationship!]
He doesn’t approve of your social circle
He wants you all for himself. Mind you, that is not because he loves you so much and wants all you time, but seeing you lonely without any support makes him feel powerful and helps him exercise his control over you. His jealousy scares you because he goes to the extent of insulting all your friends. He disapproves of the fact that you need some space too. He wants you to rely on him for everything and needs to constantly make all your decisions for you. Basically the fact that you feel so dumb before him feeds his ego.
He forces you to do what he likes
At times you are not really in the mood to do what he wants you to. But then you coerces you to do so stating that if everyone else is pleasing their partners you should do so as well. Even when you try an do things for him, he will set very high expectations so that when you fail he can get back at you to insult you and show you how incapable you are.