Being possessive in a relationship is very normal. After all, you want to show your care for this person and in the process you may get too attached to the one you love. Unless you have crossed all the stages of love, you will continue to be possessive because you are scared of losing this person. Possessiveness can portray you as someone who is protective and doesn’t bargain when it comes to the space that you share with your partner. But this doesn’t take too long to convert into a dominating trait where you display a controlling and over protective behaviour that suffocates your partner.
Initially, possessiveness seems normal and you feel great that you have someone who loves you so much that can’t wait to hear from you. When he shows his possessive side, you feel at the top of the world as you only find yourself so much desired by your partner. However, what if that crosses the line and you feel suffocated with his possessive behaviour? In fact you might find it difficult to convince yourself if he truly loves you or that is just his possessive attitude that gets reflected when he shows his “love” for you. Here are a few signs that you should be aware of so that you can tell what is controlling and possessive. In case these habits of his have taken a toll on your life, then you should speak about it with your partner. He could be doing these unintentionally so communicating will clarify in case there has been some misunderstanding.
He controls your decisions:
Your opinions don’t really matter. So whatever you decide he always wants to have a say. You may be made to feel that you don’t really matter when he constantly snaps you in between. He doesn’t really trust you on taking important decisions of your life so he wants to be at the forefront to do that for you. [Read: 6 Signs your partner is trying to control you!]
He gets defensive immediately
Whenever you have tried to tell him that he needs to respect who you are and let you be on your own, he is unapologetic and will immediately come up with excuses to justify his actions. He feels that this is how every relationship is and there is nothing wrong if he is trying to have an upper hand everywhere. Possessive people always have some justification ready when they are questioned or confronted. [Read: Feeling Like A Doormat? 7 Steps To Feel More In Control]
He follows you everywhere
He is super good at stalking you everywhere. This is not just in reality but also in the virtual world. He keeps track of all your activities and wants a justification at the end of the day about why you do what you do. So much so that he has convinced you into giving out your passwords to him. He forcibly makes you post pictures that he wants you to and also speaks to people on your behalf so that he is in control of your life. Sometimes, he calls you out of the blue to meet you at unexpected places. This is because he hardly trusts you and your way of conducting yourself.
He won’t let you try anything new
Whenever you express your wish to do something that you have always had your eyes on, he will try and scare you so that you drop the idea completely to venture into something never tried before. And he will behave like even if you do, he should be around because he feels like you cannot take care of yourself or there are people waiting to take advantage of you. [Read: How You Can Win Any Argument With Each Zodiac Sign]
He cannot accept that you are busy
You always have to be ready for him no matter what is occupying your time. When he calls you, you have to receive that immediately. He expects you to be there for him at a moment’s notice. The moment you try and exercise your right to your own space, he gets too annoyed and starts abusing or shaming you. It is as if he is the only one who can have something important or priorities to be worried about but the only thing you should be devoted to is the relationship.
He hates your close ones
He has always had a problem with your friends and family. He makes you believe that he is the sole well wisher in your life. Whenever something wrong happens with you, he is quick to ridicule them. This is especially true for your male friends who he can’t see eye to eye with.
It is only him you should worship
He makes it seem like he should be the only one your life should revolve around. You should only speak highly of him and take pride in him. If you do anything fun with anyone other than him, he sulks and taunts you the whole day. It feels like you should be his slave waiting to please him whenever he wants.
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