Nobody wants to be told that he or she is selfish in the relationship. In fact it is very hard to realise that you are selfish unless someone tells you or you go into a deeper perspective. Sometimes you might feel like you are just being ‘you’ and you have the right to be so. But there is always a limit. Whenever everything just happens your way, then you are being outright selfish. If you have to be you all the time, then you might just be better of being single.
A relationship is a partnership. Not a one way thing that you could always have things done the way you like and expect the other person to just comply. This is not to say their your needs are not important or they shouldn’t be given any value. But make sure you maintain a balance.
Your excitement is limited to your likes
Do you find yourself constantly changing plans according to your needs? Do you like doing things that excite you only? Whenever your partner wants to involve you into his favourite sport or wants to go to his favourite restaurant, do you just make excuses to get out of the plan? If you only wish to do your stuff all the time and neglect your partner’s happiness, then it is very likely that you are very selfish.
Your partner feels unimportant
You forget to consider that you are not alone in the relationship. Sometimes, your partner might just feel like he is not significant in the relationship. If it is always about your life, your profession, your family and your needs, then your partner is likely to feel this way. This is only because he doesn’t want to drive you mad or irritated. Your partner might not complain initially but eventually he will distance himself.
Your partner is usually irritated
You just don’t seem to pay attention to what he says. Moreover, his opinions don’t feel important to you at all. So much so, that it is already evident that your man knows that. This is because you have been inattentive to his conversations. Whenever, he initiates a topic, you just give him the silent treatment or just don’t bother to show that you care.
Whatever you do needs appreciation
Do you feel the constant need to be appreciated and applauded for whatever little you do? Selfish people always desire that. They just cannot accept the fact that someone else steals the show. A relationship needs balance. You shouldn’t want to be the centre of attention all the time. Sometimes, you can just stay quiet about what your achievements are. If they deserve the recognition, they will eventually be noticed. And even if it doesn’t, just let it be. Attaching too much self importance only does more self harm than any kind of good.
You are always picking faults in him
You consider yourself near perfect. You feel like whatever he does isn’t good enough. You feel like he needs to change for he doesn’t match up to your expectations. Even if you yourself have flaws too, you feel like they aren’t really that bad. For example, your partner might not have a great fashion sense. However, you feel like he needs to change despite the fact that yours needs an up gradation too! Don’t look for flaws just for the sake of it. In the process, you tend to be a hypocrite.
You never stop arguing
You feel like you need to be a winner everywhere. Whenever there is an argument, you never give up. You make it a point that your opinion is heard. You just cannot agree that your partner may be talking better sense than you. All you want is to make him bend. Your ego is too huge. You want to make sure that you don’t lose an argument just because that will make you feel weak.
You don’t bother about his situation
Do you want him to cater to your needs as soon as you want it? No matter what kind of work your partner might be busy with, you always demand that he should leave everything to please you or bail you out of a situation. He might actually have an important thing to be worried about or he may have a difficult thing going on at the moment. If you still don’t understand that, then you are very selfish.
A relationship needs selflessness. If you want to have a happy relationship, then you are expected to let yourself go at times. If it’s all about you, then your relationship won’t survive. If you can find yourself committing these things then you are selfish and just before your relationship breaks down, you need to change your ways.