We always look back at childhood and feel things were a lot easier back then. Sure, there were fewer responsibilities but the fact that almost everyone around you is happier with their life than you are with yours indicates that you have been cooking trouble for yourself. No one wants to mess up their lives but many of us tend to do that unknowingly. Life is easy, it’s how you live it that makes the difference. One of the main reasons is our attempt to change and redefine ourselves. Be someone we are not and in the process, make life harder for ourselves. Whatever may be your reasons for leading a hard life, it’s always best to know how to go about things the right way, thus, here’s a blog on ways you are making your life harder than it has to be.
You Don’t Use Your Own Mind Much
Life as an adult isn’t only about getting a good job and earning as much as you can. You need to make decisions yourself. Decisions regarding your job, your relationships, and all that constitutes your daily routine. For most of our life, we are told what to do, what to eat, what to wear, where to sit, how to behave; our parents do everything for us. While this does make life as a child easier, it makes most of us dependent on others for instructions. When you enter the life outside the protective environment of childhood, you are clueless as to what needs to be done. You look for someone to instruct you and everyone expects you to work on your own. This lack of independence leads to frustration when things don’t go the way they are supposed to. You don’t know the first thing about leading your life on your own, thus, this responsibility has proven to be way too much for you. The solution is to start observing those around you and learning the art of independent living.
You are the Centre of the Universe
It’s a good thing to love yourself, for people who love themselves tend to lead happier lives as opposed to those who don’t. however, expecting that the world will share your sentiment is too much to ask for. Since you love yourself so much, to the point of narcissism I must say, you believe everything that you say or do is spot on. When reality sets in, which is harder than you imagined, things take a turn for the worse for you. You may be right from your personal point of view, but when these ideas are displayed to the world, many will criticize and disagree. What you think is right, doesn’t necessarily have to agree with the majority, and many times we need to bend to the will of the masses. You have a script ready for the show that stars you, but either no one signed up for the supporting roles or you forgot to share the script. Learn to adjust to a difference of opinion.
You are Surrounded by the Wrong People
One rotten apple spoils the whole barrel. Imagine what happens to a single apple that is surrounded by rotten apples. Being rotten doesn’t mean that your friends are into substance abuse or other vices, their presence can be as much of a trauma for you. Many people have emotional vampires in their life who suck the life out of those they surround. There are those high heads who are always showing you down. There are the drama queens and their unending ways of cooking up fights and arguments. Then there are those who spout negativity every step of the way. The list of people who can ruin your life is endless. You either choose the life of a solitary reaper or choose your friends wisely. Make sure that, if nothing else, you gain positivity from people around you. Peers who contribute to your development and not those who lead to your ruin.
You Feel the World is Against You
Everyone lives for themselves, that is true both literally and figuratively, but not everyone lives to ruin you. If you have this very nasty habit if always thinking the worst intent behind someone’s actions, then that is another factor which is contributing to making your life difficult. You get easily offended by the slightest of deviations from the plan you made because you feel that the reason for this said deviation is malice at the other person’s end. There are many explanations to why your friend didn’t pick up your call, or why the boss didn’t appreciate the work you gave your heart and soul to, or why your maid left work. Even if you are true, and someone’s action does have a negative intent, it shouldn’t matter so much as to boil your blood. Work it out with a peaceful mind either with them or within yourself. However, the entire world couldn’t be against you.
You have Unrealistic Expectations
Even if you want to, you cannot control others. While it can be considered healthy to have unrealistic expectations for yourself, for they drive you to work harder and go the extra mile, it sure isn’t wise to expect others to stand on your expectations. Everyone has their own way of working and no other person will live their life or think or feel the way you do. So, it’s ok if your friend forgot to wish your dog a Happy Birthday even though you wished theirs. It’s alright if your boyfriend doesn’t count each day of how old your relationship has grown. It’s ok if your family doesn’t think as highly of your latest venture as you do. You don’t need the approval of the masses to justify your life for when you expect others to agree with your ideas, you are, in a way, seeking their approval.
Pessimism is Your Life Blood
If nothing else, a positive approach helps us feel better. Some of us have this very bad habit of always expecting the worst out of everything. Maybe that is because when things turn out to be even slightly better than the apocalypse we had feared, we feel at peace. Negativity attracts negativity. The laws of electrostatics don’t apply when human expectations are concerned. While a glass half full will quench someone’s thirst, a glass half empty is only thin air. Start positive, stay positive, and only then will it end positively. Positivity also gives us the strength and courage to fight failures. I’m sure no one reading this needs a lecture on the benefits of positive thinking, however, you need to know that your negative thought process is the reason for most of your miseries.
You are Generous to a Fault
Generosity and compassion are two qualities highly appreciated in the human nature. Usually, people tend to help those in need and as a human default expect the same in return. The problem arises when the favor isn’t repaid. Your friends know that whenever they need help, you will be at their service. But there are times when you need them and their nature turns out to be opposite to yours, the solution in this scenario is to be friends with people who are worthy of your kindness. Either you stop expecting things in return, or you hand out your service based on the merits of the one asking for them. It does sound cruel and so many harsh situations are coming to your mind right now, but it’s a big bad world and if you want to survive, you have to play by the rules of the dominant.