Being with a narcissist is the worst possible thing that can happen to anyone. Sounds scary and I am not going to lie, it actually is! It’s quite hard to love a narcissist. They only love themselves and can never be trusted in a romantic relationship.
If you are reading this, you might just wish to verify if you have a few traits or just that you might have been with one. Accepting to bring in changes is a very positive thing and once you do, half the battle is won. Here are a few ways in which you can transform yourself:
Make the effort to feel what others feel:
Narcissists have a common habit of thinking only about themselves, what they want from others in a relationship and how they can benefit from that. They care the least about others. If you wish to avoid being a narcissist, start being sensitive to others and their feelings. Be honest about how others feel and how your behaviour and actions impacts others’ feelings. This way you will be able to realise how you affect them not just negatively, but positively too.
Express you gratitude:
Narcissists never show their thankfulness towards anything whatsoever. They attach so much self-importance that they feel whatever is done to them or whatever they get is rightfully theirs and comes naturally to them without them having to be grateful for anything. If at all someone does something for you, express your gratefulness. Tell them honestly that you appreciate what they did. Stop thinking that anyone owes something to you just because of your sheer presence in this world. No matter how difficult this might seem to your narcissistic nature, thank anyone for whatever little they do for you. Express your gratitude and you shall be blessed with abundance.
Stop belittling others:
Narcissistic personalities feel better about themselves by degrading others’ images. They feed on lowering other people’s efforts or how they are. They cannot tolerate being inferior to anyone. Rise above this petty behaviour and acknowledge people around you. Accept that people might be better than you in one way or the other. Just be a better person and make others feel good about themselves. You have no idea what your positive outlook towards others can do for you.
Avoid expecting accolades for whatever you do:
If you do something for someone you don’t need people to reward you for it. Don’t do things for people to expect praise. You are just as human as anyone else and people don’t need to treat you specially for anything. Avoid attaching so much worth to yourself that you feel people are not just good enough for you and you need more recognition for your work. This is very demanding of you and tiresome for all those who are made to feel like slaves when you are around. If people criticise you for something; either accept it or just let it be. You don’t need to demolish them just because they expressed their opinions. Stop freaking out when people offer their advice.
Let you work do all the talking. Expecting people to hail you all the time sends out a wring message that you already accept your greatness and want people to accept your awesomeness.
Stop spreading your hatred towards everything:
Being jealous is natural but being overly possessive about your things and people you are attached to is extremely harming. Thinking that you always deserve the best isn’t the right way to be. Stop showing people that everything that you own is/ has to be at the top or whatever others have isn’t worthy or that you express your competitive attitude by trying to have something that’s better than they already have. Hating things isn’t right and you can just let people have what they want. If you wish to compete make sure it is healthy for your competitor as well.
Avoid using people to get your things done:
No one in your life deserves to serve your end. People are unique in their own right and you have no right to use them as tools to get what you want in life. If you want to form a connection with anyone make sure that they are for the right reasons and you have nothing to use them for. Have other strong reasons to love and care for them.
It might be very difficult for a narcissist to unlearn all the things that make them the way they are. However, it can be quite an introspective process to heal themselves out of their toxic behaviour. Inculcate some compassion and empathy for others and sometimes let go of things without going nuts to have them at any cost. This way all your relationships will flourish or else you’ll be abandoned eventually by people.