We have all heard the old saying that we should let our partners free. If they are meant to stay, they will. But isn’t it way to difficult to act on it? Don’t you fear that too much space might actually be disastrous for the relationship? How do you maintain that space without jeopardising the relationship? True, you cannot control somebody else’s actions. You can never guarantee their thoughts and feelings but only yours. However, the fear of losing someone is a reality in almost every relationship. No one wants to lose the person they love. However, caging them can suffocate the relationship. This will only make your partner repel you to the point of a breakup. Here are a few ways in which you can give space to your partner without negatively affecting your relationship.
Minimise virtual communication
It is quite obvious that you might want to check on your partner during the day. In fact, you can make things fun over texts by sending simple messages to convey how desirable they are or how much you miss them. However, continuous texting to know each and every little detail is suffocating, at least for a few. Unless both of you enjoy doing it, try and give that space to the person to be ready for you. Make them crave for you and make time for you. Don’t exert yourself on them.
Control your inquisitiveness
Being interested in the person you love is important for a healthy relationship. However, if you see withdrawal symptoms when you put forward your queries, understand that your questions aren’t very welcome. He isn’t comfortable yet or doesn’t wish to be questioned about very personal issues. You should realise that you need to withdraw here and wait for them to open up to you. Unless that happens, give them the space they want.
Communicate that you intend to give him space
It is important that your intentions are clear. They deserve to know why you wish to stay aloof and wait for them to respond back. If this is done right during the initial stages your partner will be well prepared to deal with it. If you suddenly dump it on him, he will be clueless and might mistake it for your lack of interest. Don’t make them feel that you are forcibly giving them space without any clear willingness to do it. That is resent and it will never work well in a relationship.
Concentrate on your life
If your partner is verbal about the space they need, then so be it. Instead of nagging and pulling the trigger on their head, just let it be. Work on things that need your attention. Restart those that you left after you entered into the relationship. Focus on yourself minus the relationship. Make yourself strong enough so that someone’s else decisions doesn’t have the power to control your happiness. Being too clingy and dependent is the best way not just to lose the relationship but yourself too.
Stop letting him control your life
If you are constantly worried about losing him, then chances are you have surrendered yourself in this relationship. You let him make all your decisions and have given up on your individuality. Take control of your life. Just because you are insecure, it doesn’t guarantee his stay in your life. If you are fearful of him leaving you just because you want to give him space, then he was never yours in the first place. People don’t give up easily when they truly love each other. So, let go of that fear and live your life.
Let go of him
You need to realise that you cannot take charge of someone else’s decisions. If you truly want to give people space, just let go. You can’t buy love. You can’t force any one to be in your life. If they want to, they will move the mountains to be with you. Giving space doesn’t mean you don’t love them enough. If he doesn’t get that, he doesn’t know you yet. This is where you should reconsider this relationship. Is he then the right one for you or are you just comfortable in the relationship?
Be prepared to deal with what’s thrown at you
Relationship or not, you need to be absolutely blissful in your own company. Unless you prepare yourself, it is hard to give space to the person you love. If he chooses to let go of you disrespecting that fact that your gave him the space to grow, then trust me, it’s for your own good. They do you a favour by taking away their toxic self from your life. Do you even wish to be with someone who can let go whenever they wish to?