Emotions are the foundation of a strong relationship. Unless you are able to covey your emotions to the person you love, it is very confusing for your partner to understand his/ her standing in the relationship. This is a pretty much frustrating situation where you don’t understand where your partner is heading to. While your partner may be engaging in every superficial thing (that are also crucial in the relationship), you cannot belittle the importance of emotions.
Lack of emotional connection with your partner reflects the instability in your relationship. No matter what the reason for his emotional unavailability is, you might still feel that your relationship deserves another chance to make it through till the end. Even though this is quite challenging, you might still be able to work it out with the right advice. Here are a few things that you could do to build a stronger relationship with an emotionally unavailable man:
Put yourself in his shoes
In order to understand where his emotionally unavailable behaviour is coming from you have to dig deep. This means you need to analyse what he is going through and why he does what he does. In a relationship you will have to be very empathic towards your partner. The more compassionate you are, the better the chances of you understanding what is affecting them which makes them cold towards you. He may probably be like this with all but you are the one who will be the most affected being the closest to him. Once you make him open up or understand yourself what his issues are, you will be in a better position to understand if you wish to continue with him or withdraw from the relationship.
After you know what is bothering him, you will have to deal with the situation patiently. The deeper issues may be very sensitive so you need to be very careful how you deal with that. Choose your words wisely and learn what to speak to him and when. If there is something that he discloses to you and you don’t like it, don’t burst at him instantly. This will affect him and he won’t open up again. You should be careful about the fact that your moods need to adjust his if you really want him to open up to you. Maintain a distance when he needs space and be warmer when he is taking the initiative. [Read: 6 Ways to get over your insecurity in the relationship]
Be happy in your own company
You should be very confident in the person that you are and seek happiness in your company. When you feel complete you will not kill yourself thinking why someone is choosing to stay aloof and giving you the recognition that you feel you deserve. Often relationships are spoil not because of efforts but too much effort put into something that should be naturally left to take its own its course. When you are too giving, people tend to take you for granted. Give him what you get in return. This will keep him on his toes and make him more understanding towards your needs. [Read: 16 Habits of happy independent women that are worth learning!]
Stop being controlling
Often we feel that the more we confront, we are likely to get answers to our questions. With an emotionally unavailable man, you will be digging the death bed for your relationship if you keep trying to poke him all the time. So, instead of pushing him away every single time, you should be able to stop chasing him. While you might be wishing to do everything possible to keep the relationship going, try and sense what he wants and what he willing to give you. In case he still wishes to be casual and expects you not to question him regarding his emotional unavailability, then you should choose the road that best suits you rather than trying to forcibly fit yourself into this. [Read: How to deal with a dominating partner?]
Strengthen his trust in you
Sometimes, the reason for his emotional unavailability may be his disbelief in the relationship that he shares with you. For that matter you need to be able to convince him that you are equally invested in the relationship and he has nothing to fear about with you. When you try and open up to him, he will also feel that you are making the effort to establish your trust in him. If you still feel that despite your efforts he still doesn’t care, you have your answers right there. So, there is no point crying, cribbing or resorting to passive aggressive behaviour. Don’t sell your happiness for someone who doesn’t care. You should care for yourself first and then can care about someone else. While this can hurt you too much at the start, you will definitely deal with this if you know and value your worth. [Read: 6 Reasons why your boyfriend can’t trust you!]