A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day. ~Andre Maurois
Marriage is one of the hottest, debatable topics ever since the life begins on earth. May be because it’s the must part of our lives. Well, for some people purpose of human landing on the planet is to get married with the soonest possibility. True that marriage is a building block to any society, but that by no means justify to force people to enter into marital relation against their will.
Orthodox vs. Modern Generation:
India apparently seems an outgoing, open-minded country, but the conservative mindset of Indians is still alive. As far as marriage is concerned, it is and probably will remain a tug of war in between older and younger generations. The modern generation roots for love marriages, while the orthodox generation bluntly rejects the very idea of it.
If we dig deep into history, the arranged marriages in Indian culture are dated back in 4thcentury. While love marriage is a little new phenomenon. True that we have romantic folklores, but rare in number. Today, every second adult falls in love and some times over and over again. Let me clear you it’s not love, its infatuation, its lust for opposite sex. The dating love birds are seldom seen to tie in the spousal knot.
Thanks to Indian cinema that’s ruining our cultural value to extreme and making the new generation awfully rebellious. This is not it. People inspired from western culture feels apprehensive if their parents try to guide them with their wedding decision. Yes, to impose your viewpoints and choices on your children is also a false practice.
A Few Statistics:
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According to ‘The Taj Wedding Barometer’ survey conducted in 2013 by Taj Group of Hotels in Mumbai, approximately 75% of young Indians inclined to settle into marriages made by their families. 82% of youth of the northern states of India backed arrange marriage as compared to the youth of South India. Moreover, despite all the progress Indian women has made till date, nearly 82% of females want their elders to find a suitable groom for them.
Child marriage is the horrible face of arranged marriages in India. This evil practice is hard to abolish completely. UNICEF published a report in 2014 highlighting that approximately 47% Indian girls, mostly from families of rural areas, are forced settle into marriages before 18. This is the point where my heart salutes all the revolted souls who choose to go against the societal norms and save their lives from falling into trap of an erroneous relationship.
What’s Better? Self-Initiated Marriage or a Family-Arranged Wedlock
I grow up wondering what’s wrong in a love marriage, and why a person freaks out on sudden update of his wedlock with someone entirely unknown. I believe both comes with merits and demerits. Let’s analyze as a whole:
Arrange Marriage: Till Death Do Us Part
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- Family’s decision
- More support
- More security to women
- Less problems between families
- Less acceptance
- Less understanding
- More interference
- More spousal feuds
- Dowry problem
Love Marriage- Till Divorce Do Us Part
- Individual’s decision
- Less support
- Financial problems
- More problems between families
- Strong relationship
- More understanding
- Combined decision making
- Less interference
- Cannot blame any other
Raymond Hull rightly said that, ‘All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble’.
I personally believe that arrange marriage is better than its counterpart, because it’s a completely new experience with less expectation levels and certainly full family support. On the lighter note,you have someone to blame for the failure (wink).
Love or arrange, a successful marriage stands on pillars of respect, tolerance, care, trust, and mutual understanding.