It is not under our controls for whom we fall for, right? Sometimes we fall for people that we just shouldn’t fall for. Why? Because they are associated with someone you care and he/she might just end up getting barmy at you. It may just appear that you are crossing limits and being immoral. I am talking about falling for your best friend’s boyfriend. What could be more embarrassing, isn’t it? It is least expected from you but to be honest there is no surprise. You are best friends because you have several things in common and you are likely to have the same taste in men. Her boyfriend may have all the qualities that you also wish to have in your partner. So, isn’t it human to get attracted to someone who matches your dream list? Hence, don’t be mad at yourself.
When something like this happens with you, you are overflowing with emotions of guilt and anger. You question your behavior and you begin blaming yourself for having a polluted mind. If you are currently stuck in this situation, here I am offering you a helping hand. This article will tell you how to handle this situation with utmost poise. :
1. Do not feel horrible
As I already mentioned above that it shouldn’t be surprising to have a crush on her boyfriend as you both are possibly sharing the same taste. Having a crush on someone is not under your control and by no means it means you are a bad person. You are not being the ideal best friend here but to put yourself under harsh scrutiny is also unfair. You are her best friend and it totally makes sense that the two of you fall for the same guy. So, don’t feel horrible about the person you are.
2. Do not make any move
You may get a bit excited and may feel like flirting with him. But please set your alarm and never make that move. Making this move will probably be the first step at ruining your friendship. It is normal is you are tempted to flirt with him but you need to grab control over your feelings and put a full stop. It is really not worth to spoil a friendship because of a crush. [Read: How each Zodiac reacts when they have a crush on someone!]
3. Never be alone with him
Don’t put yourself in a situation where there are chances of being alone with him. You may just give in to the idea of flirting with him. And in case, he responds by flirting back at you, you are doomed. All this will pile up into a great mess and things will turn to be devastating for you guys. You need to keep in mind that you will end up cheating on your best friend who has blind trust in you and it is simply not worth it.
4. Stop hanging out with them
When you hang out with them, you may get envious of them. Since you know you have a crush on him, you should spend the least time with him so as to get over him. Even if this amounts to spending less time with your best friend. You should create a space and distance between him and get over this. If you will continue hanging out with him, it will not only make you jealous and angry, it will make every equation toxic. [Read: How to deal with a crush who is already engaged ?]
5. Write down why you like him
Writing down why you like him, will bring clarity to your choices. This will help you find the same traits in another man. You will be able to seek for the same warmth in someone else. If it’s his small romantic gestures, his gentlemanly behaviors or simply his good looks, just write it down. At times, friendships are competitive, in such cases things become obligatory in nature and you are unknowingly enforced to compete with her for this guy. This is a shallow thing but since it exists, we cannot ignore it.
6. Distract yourself or Keep yourself busy
Take up a hobby and keep yourself engaged. This will help you move on from a crush. You will also be able to interact with other men and this will help you diverge from your existing crush. Keeping yourself busy will take your mind off your friend’s boyfriend.
7. Some things are better unsaid
You obviously share everything with your best friend and you feel like disclosing about this too. But what is the point of telling her, when you do not want to pursue anything with her boyfriend. This will not just hurt her badly, she will also never be able to trust you the same way.
8. Always choose your friend
If you are confused about who to choose between the two, always choose your friend. If he has shown interest in you, you may feel tempted to be with him. But never at the cost of your best friend? Relationships that have such an untidy start tend to not last long. They will fade away and lose luster very soon. Your best friend is your constant support system and the one who is going to stick by.
Now you know what should be done in such tricky situation. The most important of all is to stay calm and not beat yourself up for having a crush. It is very common, people just don’t talk about it, which in the end, is the best thing to do.