Before marriage, any failed relationship can be easy to get over with and you can simply remove your ex from your Facebook and begin to look for new prospects. You can easily go ahead with a few romantic dates without considering the future together. But after a failed marriage, things are not so easy as they were before your marriage. Moreover if you have kids, then things become even more intricate because you cannot be immature and be unreasonable and you really need to be considerate before you go ahead with dating.
Here are a few dating tips for single moms that you must consider once you are done with cursing your ex-husband and getting your divorce and children custody settled:
List it out:
Just like I regret being too giving in my past relationship and becoming blind to my partner’s mistakes, you must also be having a lot of regrets. So simply sit down and make a list of all the things you should have done for your partner and also those you should not have done. This will give you a clear perspective of how you can make things work better this time. Also, make a list of all the shortcomings of your partner or habits that irritated you the most so that you know not to date a person with any of those habits or shortcomings.
Do not go out unless you are in love:
While occasional flirting is not an issue, do not go out on casual dates unless you are really in love with the person. Falling in love surely takes time but you can find other ways to spend time with the guy as well. For example, you can go out shopping with him or do some charity work together but unless you are sure it is love, do not go out with the guy. You are in no position to simply consider casual dating at this point. So, unless you are really in love, do not make a move. Because unless you are really in love, there is no point in going on a date leaving your child to babysitters.
Talk to your child:
Children are quite sensitive to any change happening around them. They need time to accept the new change in their lives. Furthermore, it is crucial to make sure they do not stay in the dark. They will feel cheated and will get hurt. Do not worry about what age they belong to, always make sure you tell them if you are dating someone. We think they are too young to discern it but in fact they understand everything. So, we must let them know and tell them that having a relationship won’t affect your relationship with them and you will always be there for them like before.
Do not hide anything:
It is not enough to tell your new partner about your shortcomings or your daily routine but you must be comfortable enough to share your past experiences with them. Tell him your aspirations, your fears and your goals. This will not only make him open up to you as well but it will give him a sense of being trusted and relied on. Furthermore, this is going to be a great way to find out if opening up to him makes him judge you or console you.
But most important of all is to make peace with your past at first because if you do not do that you might end up with another failed relationship due to drawing out constant comparisons with your ex-husband. Do not ever do the mistake of using someone just to show your ex-husband that you have moved on and make him jealous. He does not deserve to be given such importance. He is your ex for a reason. Go ahead and live your new life!
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