To love and marry is quite different in certain ways than to marry and love. It has always been a notion that love is more in love marriages while in arranged marriage love is always compromised, which is not true. Yes, in arranged marriages both of you are supposed to put in a lot of effort to build up a bond and trust. But I guess that you do even when you normally fall in love and then marry. Agreed that in arranged marriage you are given a very short span of time but that doesn’t alter your love or the process of falling in love.
If you are having an arranged marriage then there will a certain part of you that would feel skeptical about it. You will a have a tinge of disappointment that you never got to be in love or marry the one you love. You’ll find asking yourself the question- Will I experience love in arranged marriage? The answer to this would be –yes, if you try.
Here are a few things or tips you can follow to develop love in arranged marriage:
Be A Friend First
Love often happens when you get to know a person more and more. Don’t start by expecting all cheesy romance from the start of a relationship. Be friends, know each other, let it grow. Gradually develop a romantic relationship. Give each other time and send gifts or chocolates. Little things have a way of winning hearts.
Patience Is Must
You know everyone’s emotional frequency is different. Some open up easily, while some take their time. Love in arranged marriages takes time because you got only a little amount of time to know each other. Not everyone connects to someone within a short time so you need to have that patience.
Accept The Person As He/ She Is
Don’t try to change him/her. Love is about accepting each other’s differences. Don’t stress about something he does that you don’t like. There is always going to be something that you don’t like that he does but you should accept the person as he/she is. Only then love can blossom in arranged marriage.
Spend Quality Time Together
Arranged marriages also take place between two people from different places. In such scenarios, you hardly meet each other. But try to meet as much as possible. Because no matter how much you stay connected on phone, meeting someone personally is totally different than virtually. Notice the small details about him/her when you meet.
Dates And Dating Etiquettes
In arranged marriage people often take their partners for granted. If you want to develop love in arranged marriage then you need to treat it the same as you do when in love. Plan dates, surprise each other and follow the dating etiquette like opening the doors, holding the chair etc.
Trust is the base of any kind of relationship, platonic or romantic. You have to earn the trust. Work towards building trust and faith in each other. Start with keeping the small promises you made and staying true to your words.
Love Is Not Always 50-50
So if you have this concept in mind that a relationship, be it love marriage or arrange marriage is going to be 50-50 then you are wrong. Love doesn’t work that way. For love to develop in arranged marriage or any other relationship you should be ready to give more than what you get.
Don’t Take Things For Granted
When your spouse puts in efforts, don’t take him or her granted. Value his emotions and actions, no matter how small they are. Show them you care. Try to spice things up in the relationship for that happily ever after. Small things make a huge difference.
Respect Each Other
Respect is really important. You should respect your spouse. Bad mouthing or accusing is an easy thing to do. But if you want the love in arranged marriage you must respect each other. A man should respect his other half as an equal even if she is a housewife and a woman should respect her husband no matter what he does.
Life After Arrange Marriage
Regardless of what everyone says, life after arranged marriage or even love marriage demands a lot of sacrifices and changes on both the girl and guy’s part. Both of your lives are going to take a huge turn which you’ll get used to. Here’s how life changes after arranged marriage.
You Gain A New Set Of Parents
You now not only have one set of parents but two sets of parents, which also means a double set of responsibilities, care, and love. His family becomes your family and yours becomes his.
Living With Him
It seems a bit awkward to suddenly share a bed with someone, even if you love him. Then you get so used to sharing the bed and room with him that life seems to blissful. Waking up to him and morning kisses make up your day. You look forward to spending time with him at night.
Adjustment Is The Key
Shifting to a new home amongst new people isn’t really easy. You have to adjust in a lot of ways. Your lifestyle will change, your routines will change. On the whole, your life will change.
You Change From ‘I’ To ‘We’
It is no longer just about you, you are sharing your life with another person. Your decisions no longer just affect you but your spouse too. That’s why everything in your life changes from ‘I’ to ‘We’
Friends Take A Back Seat
Unfortunately, this is one thing that you’ll hate about marriage. No matter how much you try, your priorities change, especially when you are staying with his family. You get caught up with your new life that you almost miss out on many hangouts, get together and trips.
You Are More Responsible Now
After marriage, you definitely become more responsible. Unknowingly, marrying means taking responsibility and growing up, either you are expected to set up a new home or live with your in-laws and take up the responsibility for the household chores.
Bye To Those Carefree Days
Even if you are living alone with your husband, you can’t just go out whenever you want or hang out with your friends until midnight. All those crazy things you used to do suddenly come to an end.
Feeling More Secure And Loved
One thing that marriage assures is that you never feel lonely. You finally have someone to share your life with, something to look forward to. You feel loved and cared for. You feel more secure than before.
Your Social Calendar Is Full
After marriage, you’ll find that your life and calendar is literally full. You’ll find it hard to balance everything but eventually all fall into place. Between making time for your family, your friends and your spouse, you’ll not even realize how your first year of marriage went by.