Is the little bundle you once held in your arms now a handsome young lad or a bold and beautiful woman? You had probably never imagined they’d turn out to be so much more amazing than you expected. All those anxieties about raising good human beings and being a good parent are surely starting to ease now as you begin to feel your efforts paying off.
It could freak you out, sometimes, watching those modern movies where kids and parents fight so much that it almost feels like they’re strangling each other with words and actions. If you are a worrisome parent (maybe all parents are, in a good way of course), it can only give you the jitters, especially when you realize that the stuff in the movies can happen for real.
Quarrel, Makeup, Laugh, Repeat
The love you have for your children can be so intense that it makes you do things you are not supposed to. You’ll feel it’s okay to do them because you created and carried them inside you for so long. But here’s the thing. What you believe to be love and affection could lead you to become the ‘annoying’ parent. It’s a bit scary the way this could turn out. And that’s when the fighting begins.
Wait, we’re not saying that it’s always your fault when it comes to arguments. It could be the plain stubbornness in your kids or even a silly tantrum that leads to a fight. Whatever it may be, there’s one thing you just should keep in mind all the time: be careful with your approach. You are the parent and they are your children, no matter how young or old. And that’s a major distinction you need to understand. That’s why you should try and keep your cool when it’s called for, and deal with situations a bit differently.
Apologies Cost You Nothing, At least Not too Much
Teens are the time in your child’s life when you have the most quarrels, the biggest ones! Sometimes, they can be bad enough to cause prolonged or permanent damage to your relationship. This is when you’d need to apply your ‘cool’ parenting skills very cautiously. One rule you might want to keep in mind is to never hesitate to say you’re sorry – not just to a teenager, even to a 9-year-old.
As much as your kids need to learn about empathy, forgiveness, humility, and respect, there are times when you need to set it all aside, and just go up to them and give them a hug. There are times when you need to apologize and make up even when you aren’t at fault, and when your anger or your stance is completely justified. Then, there are also times when the ‘annoying parent’ in you comes out and causes a huge ruckus in the house, and you actually need to apologize for it.
Gift Your Guilt & Grudges Away
Gifts and presents don’t spoil children. Only the wrong ones do. Making up for these mistakes isn’t difficult. Sometimes, the little quarrels can be fun too, and may even be caused by your kids on purpose, just to receive the compensation. And when the quarrel isn’t really little, the bigger your compensation would need to be.
Say You’re Sorry Without Even Saying It
Choose the right gesture to say you’re sorry. Whether it’s a hug or some takeaway food from their favourite restaurant, a little gift in a package would please them. The best person who knows what they like is you. If you think a gift will do the trick, you need to pick one carefully, depending on the gravity and the aftermath of your fight.
These are the really simple things but they are so very crucial to your relationship. And that’s why they’re worth spending money on when needed. Along the way, you’ll even notice that these simple gestures of kindness and apology can do the biggest wonders to your broken relationship or even fix one that’s about to break.
Sometimes, you can never really express yourself and say what you want to your kids. This struggle is real and is quite common, too. Even if it’s a kind word, a little bit of praise, a ‘sorry’ or a ‘thank you’, parents find it so hard to say it. The same goes for kids, to their parents. There could be many reasons why this barrier exists – let’s not go there now. But if you think you are struggling with communication issues with your children, never overlook it. Instead, find some way to convey your feelings, always. It may seem like it isn’t a big deal, but it actually can be.
Once again, the answer’s quite simple – give them a present. You could always write notes or letters, but if you really want to add some meaning to it, and you really want them to know the sentiments behind your words, a little gift would be a great accompaniment. What you choose to give is a personal choice, but make sure it is appropriate for your intentions, and yes, make sure it’s something they like, or you’ll only make things a lot worse. If you are too nervous about it, look up the web for ideas. Nope, it isn’t weird or ridiculous. If you want to bridge the gap between you two, you need to do anything it takes. Let Google help you or use helpful sites like Gift Rep to get some ideas. Whatever you do, just make sure you do it right.
Presents to Praise and Encourage
At some point in life, your kids start to make choices and decisions, big ones. That’s when they need loads of encouragement from you, not scrutiny and judgment. Guide your kids when they’ve chosen to pursue something good, it doesn’t matter what kind of good – be it stepping into a career or a simple, one-time action. A child needs encouragement from his mom and dad more than he does from anyone in life. Failing to give them that could break them, and you’ll only know when it’s too late. Start with simple words and gestures. Start when they are young. The cheering and thumbs-up you give your little one at a race can actually go a very long way, even a lifetime. Also, give them simple presents as a symbol of encouragement. For instance, if your daughter is passionate about becoming a writer, gift her a special pen and see how much she would cherish it.
Gifts That Say Well Done
Appreciate the little things your child achieves in his life. Even if it means praising him for feeding a hungry dog on the streets. The appreciation that starts at home and the way you give it to your children actually tells them what appreciation all is about. You are teaching them how to see the goodness in a person, no matter how young or old he/she is or how many mistakes they make in their lives – good things always count and deserves praise.
As for young kids, don’t wait for Christmas or birthdays to come along to give them a valuable present. Give your little boy the baseball cap he always wanted as a reward for tidying up his bedroom all by himself for the very first time. Or give your little princess those ballerina shoes that drive her crazy as a ‘well done’ for baking her very own muffins for the very first time! These gestures have hidden messages that you’ll only see when your kids become parents, just like you.
Gifts for Special Occasions
Speaking of Christmas and birthdays, aren’t those the times when you really put some genuine thought and effort behind special gifts for your family? Fair enough, these are occasions that come once a year, and so you’d get nothing but the best for everyone. These occasions also give you the opportunity to get your kids the one thing they have been dying for, for so long! It could be something expensive that they wanted, or something really small. Whatever it is, it’s important that you make it a point to fulfill their dreams in whatever way you can. Birthdays and Christmas is a great time for this because you have a whole year or so to plan and prep. By getting your kids what they want the most, you aren’t just making them happy, but you’re telling them that you respect their desires and that they do matter to you. They will also know that they can count on you for happiness and simple pleasures, no matter what.
So you see, a gift isn’t just an object in a package. And when exchanged within the family, it certainly is a lot more than ribbons and boxes. A gift is more of a reflection or a thought. It is something you convey, and is often wrapped in emotion, sentiments and a thousand words that one has always wanted to say.