Are you stuck in a situation where you cannot decide between two people? Not many people face this situation but even if that is the scenario, it is nonetheless clear that not both of these people whom you like, love you enough or vice versa. However, if both of them reciprocate their feelings equally strong, then you have got to make a very hard decision which you don’t want to regret later.
Most people you know will never be in a situation to understand why you have to love two people and not choose and be happy with just one. Here is the bitter truth: Either way you end up getting hurt. Because choosing one means that you have to give up on the other. Just understand that you are in control of your future and no one else. Just choose what’s best for you. Here’s how you can make a decision in this situation:
Understand them well:
Make sure you really know these people well. That is not just the facts that make up their life but knowing deeper means getting to their behaviour, their attitude, their outlook towards life and even the way they deal with people in their daily life. You have got to be well versed in what they really are. This is only when you can choose between the two. If you know yourself well, you will be in a better position to decide who is really compatible with you. Who makes your happier? Who brings out the best in you? Who cares and supports you the most?
Think about what’s really important for your future:
Ponder upon whether or not you are ‘you’ when you are with these people. Are you yourself when you are with one and someone else when you are with the other? In this case, you have to choose the former because that is how you would want to be all your life. That is, Yourself! You can’t spend your life pretending to be someone you are not. Think about who thinks on equal lines about your future. Do your goals resonate with his? Is he supportive of what you want for yourself in the future? Think long ter, and you will have your answers.
Subtract the physical aspect of the relationship:
Don’t let bodily judgements cloud your decisions. Just close your eyes and think. Try and analyse if you really like one just because he is good looking. Who do you choose if you were blind and had to decide solely based on your experiences? Of course, you would love to go around with someone who looks fantastic but don’t you actually want to be with someone who understands your soul? Don’t you want to look out for a meaningful connection that would last long term?
You may have a great sexual chemistry with someone. So much so that all you have is sex with this person. Can really have something meaning when sex isn’t happening? Does he excite you as much when you are outside the bedroom? Does he seem interested in a future with you? Ponder over these questions before you finally decide.
Ask your friends and family:
Sometimes your friends can analyse your equation with someone much better than you do. As for help from someone who knows you well, who you can count on. Ask them about who they feel is the right one for you. Let them give you a picture of their understanding of your behaviour when you are around either of the guys you love.
When you take a major decision about your life, you need to be sure that your family supports you. They will be able to help you decide who fits in well into the family. If you care about your family, you will need to check in on who gels well with the people you care for.
Look out for your feelings:
Do you feel guilty when you hang out with one ditching the other? Do you find it bad when you keep him on hold while you are talking to the other? Does one make you more excited than the other? Do you make things special for one over the other? Do you ditch plans with one to be with the other person? If you do all of these for one person more, then you surely love him stronger and deeper. All the answers reside in you.
To have to choose between two people is really a bad position to be in. You’ve got to be very sensitive not just towards your feelings, but also towards these people you are in love with. It’s a matter of three people involved in a very difficult situation and neither of you deserve to go through the pain.