Marital Rape is a Slow Murder ~Slavenka Drakulic
A Short Story with a Sky-High Dismay
She was standing in a well-decorated, deluxe room of a five-star hotel. She just checked-in here with the man she loved and married – the man she had taken for a husband. Surely it’s their honeymoon –dream time every couple desires for. Viewing her bridal reflection in the window, she saw another figure joined in the glass –her husband. Both smiled at each other.
All of sudden man’s smile turned sinister and before the lady could sense his horrible intentions, her arm got twisted and the hair pulled by the roots. His man turned into a ghost whose hands were pawing her beautiful dress, tearing them off her body he craved for like crazy. Her heart missed many a beat on realizing the ghost’s hunger after the ruthless sex. She cried hard and tried to wiggle out of his grip, but all the retaliation was wasted because she was too weak against his masculine weight and tall frame.
Completely frightened, she whispered ‘why’ in her feeble voice. And, the soul-shattering words escaped from his lips ‘dear wife! Your body is all my mine now’. She was just an asset of zero worth for him, a body of flesh he can ravage heartlessly any time he wants to.
Do you feel a stinging pain in your tummy? I do with tears rolling down my face. You know, a lot many Indian women relate them to this tragic story. They are weak and defeated in front of marital rape.
A Rape vs Marital Rape?
According to United Nations Population Fund, “about 75% of Indian married women are subjected to marital rape”.
Many girls asked me ‘do you mean raped by husband?’ Yes, it’s marital rape that the orthodox Indian culture doesn’t even want to talk about. There isn’t any difference in the two; in each, a man forces himself upon a woman.
Non-consensual sex with your wife is as grave as a rape of an unmarried virgin by some unknown person.
‘A 10-year-old girl strangled, hanged on a tree after gang rape’ or a ‘father raped his daughter’ are the news I thought would be the most awful and distressed for upright humans. Yes, I am making no difference here on men and women because noble souls found in both genders.
Since the Nirbhaya rape case reported in 2012, media gave huge coverage to instances of rape happening every other day in India. But, there seems no end to this crime.
But, in past couple of years, another form of sexual abuse surfaced the true face of Indian society- ‘THE marital rape’though it sounds weird; yet it’s an open fact. It is a terrifying situation now turning into a gigantic crisis that’s reaching the tragic proportions in so-called modern India.
Today’s young girls may deal with the harassment in the streets or sexual violence at colleges or offices. But, how could one cope a cynic husband who just want her to respond positively to his arousal of sexual desire; sporadic or consistent?
Come on man, she is a human too with her own personality, mindset, preferences, moods, and certainly the sex drive. Respect that or you will eventually lose her; either in the form of a living corpse or divorced.
Intimacy is Natural, but Marital Rape is Inacceptable
True that sexual arousal and intimacy is what every wedlock is meant to be. Humans are structured with the element of erotic pleasure. The finest way to fulfill this desire is marriage. But, as there is a common saying that excess of everything is bad, and it’s quite spot-on for sex after marriage many a time.
The undue, consistent calls from a husband, or at the time when wife isn’t feeling comfortable is identical to mental torture for a woman. Today, a number of women are facing this petrified situation. It’s widespread.
As rape is an unsolicited disgusting act that no female wants to happen to her or any other woman, so Women usually prefer to go slow with the sex thing; probably because they want to enjoy the real essence of the climax.
Sex Drive Differs in Males & Females:
Factually speaking, the sexual drive differs in between males and females; women usually take 15 to 20 minutes to ‘get in the mood’ and men can reach the arousal within minutes, sometimes a few seconds. Husbands should consider this point and must not force his spouse to sex whenever he demands or the way he wants.
As you force yourself upon her, remember that it’s against her consent – this is what rape is; changing the title won’t make any difference. When a woman is forced to do sex, it’s a simple act of rape- call it your spousal right, or wedlock’s demand or whatever, it will remain an act of rape.
We need to change this mindset ‘I am husband, and you are my property’. Moreover, India has to pass the law against marital rape.
Indian Government’s Stance on Criminalization of Marital Rape
In 1919, UK declared marital rape a crime. Till today, hundreds of nations have criminalized the marital rape, then why not India. Oh! So you think this is because Indian culture is the most sacred one in the entire world. Go get a life; there is no such thing and we all know this very well. Marital rape should be criminalized.
What Officials Say?
It seems yesterday’s story when Minister of State for Home, Haribhai Parathibhai Chaudhary bigheadedly said: “the concept of marital rape does not apply in India as marriage is treated as sacred here.”Mr, Choudhry appeared to me as if he is Sir Matthew Hale of 21st century.
According to Hale, “But the husband cannot be guilty of a rape committed by himself upon his lawful wife, for by their mutual matrimonial consent and contract the wife hath given herself up in this kind unto her husband which she cannot retract.” These type of comments boost the morale of rapist husbands for whom ‘wives are nothing but mere properties they own’. They owe nothing to them. Pathetic!
Today, the time has changed the course of the world and after observing the rising heights of sexual violence in India in form of spousal rape wrapped in matrimonial sacredness, international pressure is pushing India for the criminalization of marital rape.
A Soothing Breeze Finally Rising:
Maneka Gandhi, India’s Women & Child Development Minister confirmed that the government is considering to make marital rape a crime. Fingers Crossed! Couldn’t Wait More.
Daniel Fernandes- an Indian comedian hilariously conveyed a strong message on marital rapes that everyone must listen. Watch the Video Here!