If you find it difficult to hold your interest in one person for too long, you’re not alone. Most of us have been through this kind of a phase where nobody seems worthy enough for us, however only after an initial bout of maddening interest that we felt towards them when we were getting to know them.
We have then inevitably often blamed ourselves of being selfish and having an attention deficiency disorder which has been affecting the others in a bad way.
But blaming ourselves is not the solution to this problem that we have. The solution will be evident only when we find out the true trigger to this problem, inside of us. Which is why it is very important to delve deep into our heads and if necessary take the help of a counsellor in order to find out what triggers this attention deficiency syndrome in us where we lose interest in people with the blink of an eye?
Here I have mentioned a few reasons that might be influencing your loss of interest in people. Go through them and find out whether you can relate to any of these.
YOU SIMPLY WANT A BIT OF ATTENTION FROM WHOEVER BE IT
You might just want the attention from whosoever be it, it doesn’t matter. It just makes you happy and it isn’t something very serious unless of course it transcends a healthy boundary.
You’re not looking for commitment and you yourself may not in the least be attracted to the person you’re seeking attention from or only merely attracted to them. It is human nature to seek attention. Some of us go a notch higher in looking to draw attention from others that it becomes a habit so that not receiving attention will upset us while some of us may not be all that bothered and just leave it unto the others.
MAYBE YOU WERE JUST LUSTING THEM
Lust is short lived. You might easily lose interest in a person you have been fanatical about, provided you only were attracted to them physically and not on an emotional level. Once the physical needs are met the interest falls.
It’s a simple ideology, once you get what you crave for in hand you begin to lose interest in it. Sadly the same thing happens in the case of human beings. If you get attracted to an individual for their good looks, their built, their status, the way they smooth talk and so on you might yearn to have them to yourself without getting to know them on a personal level. Once your need of having them in certain ways is gratified, they quickly lose their value to you.
PERHAPS YOU’RE ONLY LOOKING FOR SELF VALIDATION
You look for self validation from as many people as possible, irrespective of whether you are attracted to them or not and sometimes you know that it is necessary to show a person a certain amount of interest in order to draw them towards you and in order to fetch attention. However as soon as you are successful in getting certain person drawn towards you and you achieve validation from them you do not require them any longer, because they were never really important to you as individuals in the first instance.
The ironic thing about self validation is we tend to lose interest in people who show a lot of interest in us, because our mind is wired to the idea of chasing. We like what is hard to get because we think that what is hard to get has a lot of value and someone who chases after us becomes less interesting to us because we as individuals think that we hold a higher value to them which is why we feel that we deserve better.
YOU’RE SENSITIVE AND EASILY HURT
Sometimes overly sensitive people cut ties with somebody they feel have hurt them in some way. There are those who go up and confront and then there are people like us who keep it inside and quietly sneak out through the back door to avoid any kind of confrontation. Until and unless the person who has hurt us makes an attempt to get in touch again and better things on their own by trying to show an effort, we do away with the relationship altogether.
This is common for people who have been hurt over and over again before in their previous relationships, and it’s just that they don’t want to feel the same way again.
YOU COULD BE SUFFERING FROM LOW SELF ESTEEM
If you begin to think that there will come a point in time when the person you are with will realise how worthless you are or how weak, hollow and insignificant you are in reality as soon as the tawdry facade you had put up in order to attract them is ripped apart, then you sure do have a low self esteem. What you do then is run before you are found (out).
What happens when you’re suffering from low self esteem is quite similar to that which happens when you have an inflated ego. When somebody begins to show ample amount of interest in us we feel that we don’t deserve that much of the affection and appreciation because we demean ourselves and so we lose interest because we feel that we need somebody who values us less and in that way they will prove their superiority to us.
YOU ARE AFRAID TO TRUST
Trust and interest go hand in hand.
For you vulnerability comes with trust and when you know instinctively that you can’t trust a person then you automatically move on.
Or you are simply afraid of the consequences of being vulnerable to somebody you probably even want to be vulnerable to, because you have had painful experiences in the past. So in order to save yourself you escape.
THERE IS NO CHEMISTRY
To speak of the last but not the least significant reason as to why you run from people quickly is that you realise that the person isn’t right for you. There is no other way to know whether a person is suitable for you or not without mingling with them on a personal level. So it’s absolutely alright to spend intimate moments with them and yet have the courage to move out because if there is no compatibility, you just cannot fake it.
Sometimes it isn’t possible to register the spark or chemistry that two people emanate in one another’s presence at the first few meets so it’s alright to give both yourself and your partner some time to open up to one another and then you must listen to your intuition.
It could be that you haven’t after all met the person that you’re looking for as yet and your search is still on. There is absolutely no reason to settle for third or fourth best. Go on and keep looking. I wish you all the luck with that.
These are a few of the possible reasons why you or people you like lose interest too quickly. It is wise then to first look deep and solve the underlying issues before accusing one of their behaviour. You can write to us sharing your experiences in this field and we shall get back to you soonest.