Arranged marriages proposals often come unexpectedly. The aunties and uncles who meet you or see you in various occasions and they often suggest marriage proposal for their niece or nephews to your parents, regardless of whether you are interested in marriage or not. It is well known that arranged marriage proposals are driven by our parents, aunts and uncles, and our grandparents. You won’t even know what’s happening until one day they show you the photos and the bio-data of a guy. You may feel like the situation was thrust on you and now you have to find a way to reject the guy.
To say, arranged marriage first meetings are going to be awkward. The first meetings in arranged marriage are more scaring than the blind dates your friends set you up to. Why so because when you are on a blind date you still have the freedom to walk out or reject the guy or be upfront about your feelings to him which you don’t have in the arrange marriage meeting obviously. You can’t reject a guy in arranged marriage directly because then your parents will want you to give a valid reason. That’s why saying no isn’t as easy as they say because it depends on the situation and the context you are in.
There are varied reasons why you don’t want to marry right now and want to reject the guy but you can’t exactly communicate it to your parents. Here are a few ways you can actually reject a guy in arranged marriage
How To Politely Reject A Proposal For Arranged Marriage?
Tell Him You Are Not Ready
Your distant relative may send some arranged marriage proposal for you and your parents be all eager to set you up with this guy not caring whether you are actually interested. Parents’ and relatives pull these kinds of stunts and set you up on a date when they think it’s time for you to settle down regardless of what you think. This may put you under pressure and you may actually end up going on a date or first meet with some guy they choose.
- When you meet up with this guy, it would be smart of you to just tell him that you are not ready. You may say something like, ‘You are really a good guy and I like your personality but I’m actually not ready for such a big step in my life yet’
- If you are dealing with parents or relatives you can just come up with something like – ‘Thank you for considering me for your son but I want to focus on my career and I’m not ready for marriage. I hope your son will find his match soon’
Tell Them You Are Not Compatible
Many times your parents set you up with someone who isn’t exactly what you want. Both of you may not just have the same views and although everyone says that opposites attract, it doesn’t exactly fit in every situation. When you meet the guy, you should feel the vibe like ‘this is it’ even when you are polar opposites only then you should go for it.
If you feel like you aren’t compatible even a bit and you may find it hard to explain but do it up front. Tell them what your expectations are and tell them what kind of partner you are looking for. Keeping it simple and straight is good in such situations.
Marriage Proposal rejection messages
You may sometimes receive a proposal from someone you don’t like and you do not know how to reject the guy or the arranged marriage proposal from his family. So instead of facing an awkward situation, you can write a proper email or even a letter stating your reason for rejection which may be something like this:
Thank you for sharing your son’s bio-data with us. After going through the bio-data we felt like your son and I (our daughter) may not exactly be a perfect match. We hope you find a suitable match soon. Our best wishes to your son’
This way you can send an email to the prospective match or you can even discuss this over a phone call, whichever you find comfortable.
Saying ‘No’ To The Proposals Through Matrimonial Sites
All of us think that it is easy to say ‘no’ on social media or through an email rather than face to face. Maybe, but it should also be handled carefully and shouldn’t be taken so granted. Some of the matrimonial sites design their sites in such a way that you can easily click on ‘not interested’ button. However, things may escalate when you some people choose to give silent treatment rather than responding.
- If you receive a proposal online and you aren’t interested then follow the basic etiquette and clearly click on ‘no’ or ‘not interested’ button.
- It may so happen that you might have been interested in the start and initiated online chatting already, but then you may feel like you guys are not exactly the perfect match and you might want to reject the guy’s proposal. Don’t fret too much over it, just say- ‘Hey, I enjoyed chatting with you but I don’t think we are a good match. So I guess we should stop chatting now. Best wishes for your search’.
Chances are the person might get angry or take offense and situation might get worse, you can just log out or report him if it goes out of hand. Don’t get into the angry exchange with the said person, it would do you no good.
Remember that things can turn abusive online easily and if it happens with you the best thing to do would be to report abuse ASAP!
Saying ‘No’ After One On One Meeting With The Guy
You may have liked the first meeting with the guy and both of you may have gone on further one-on-one meeting or dates with each other. But after going out a few time you may find out that you just don’t like him that much, so how should you convey this to him? How to reject a guy after going on those dates?
If he is invested in you emotionally and you feel like this rejection might hurt him much more than normal ones then it would be a good thing to lay it down to him gently by yourself rather than communicating it through the family. It would make him utterly disappointed and disheartened to hear this from the family. If you both are still not that emotionally involved then you can choose to communicate it through the family.
You can even politely convey this through a normal chat or email too. Ending the contact after the rejection would be good to do rather than continuing a follow-up a conversation with the respective person.
Saying ‘No’ In Forced Marriages
Everyone thinks that all the arranged marriages are forced which is truly a misconception. Some people do willingly go into arranged marriages. If you are under some pressure and saying ‘yes’ because of it, don’t. Stand for yourself and say ‘no’. You can even take the support of many agencies or social service agencies.
All in all, saying no and rejecting a guy in an arranged marriage is your right. Being honest from the start about what you feel with your family members is absolutely necessary for arranged marriages. It is about choosing a right approach to convey the things or rejection.