Well, we all agree that parenting is the highest privilege that a human being can ever have. Taking part in the formation of a human being and nurturing him or her into adulthood is not a joke. In fact, it is right to say that parenting is the toughest job on earth. But top on the list of the challenges and duties that go with it is maintaining a healthy and robust relationship with kids. It is easy to maintain all the other relations with friends and business stakeholders. However, when it comes to doing the same with these little angels, the game changes with the playing rules taking another shift that strips us of some of the aura of fame, power, and authority we display out there.
So, how can you maintain the line of relationship with your kids? If you want practical and effective insights that can help you to improve your relationship with your child, you have to remain with this post. Here, you will learn how to make the most out of some of the most ignored pillars of relating with your child. To discover what https://thepaperwriting.com/ has in store, remain on board up to the end.
Learn How to Listen
Let us begin our journey from the most important platform of engagement between humans, which is, communication. At the heart of your communication with your child lies the heavier side of the equation called listening. Just as one intelligent person once noted, God gave us two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we talk. However, the challenge comes in since we were all born with open mouths and closed ears! This irony in nature behooves us to learn how to engage our ears more than our mouths!
If you want to develop a strong relationship with your child, you should master the art and heart of listening. This may sound easy on paper since parents occupy a position of authority that goes with expression. On the other hand, kids are also talkative since they are learning to express themselves, and hence, the equation is difficult to balance. However, through practice and patience, you can learn how to listen without engaging your “authority gear” and interrupting your child’s “parroting syndrome.” Here is how you can do it:
Perfect your listening skills and kill the “authority syndrome”
As a wise, mature, and caring parent, you need to know that your relationship with your kid is more important than your authority over him or her. The reason is that if the child left your life, your authority over them would cease. Therefore, it is good to understand that your authority over your child’s life is a sacred privilege you received for their benefit. So, place relationship above authority and everything will flow. This way, you will listen to your child not because everything they are saying makes sense, but because it makes sense to place value on the person who is speaking than on what they are speaking. In short, the who (speaker) has more value than the what (speech).
When you listen you…
So, what happens when you listen to your child? A lot happen where there is genuine empathetic listening.
- First, you show the child that you care
- Second, the little ones will naturally notice that they matter to you
- Third, you show them that they have a person they can confide in
- Fourth, you teach them to be good listeners as they grow up
- Fifth, you teach them how to open up to other people in other interpersonal relationships
If it is true that a family that prays together stays together, it is equally true that a family that plays together stays together. There is nothing as beautiful as shedding off that stern and authoritarian face to get down to the ground and play with your children. This gesture is more valuable to them than any other gift you can buy them. Here are some of the benefits that will follow your relationship with them when you engage the playful gear of your dealings with your children:
- It will strengthen your bonding with them
- It will kill the authority syndrome
- It will help your kids to develop their social skills
- It establishes friendship between you and your child, which lays a strong basis for trust
Share Light Moments Together
Besides just playing, it is needful to create moments to laugh and joke together. As long as you do this within defined boundaries of honor and dignity that flows two–way, you will strengthen your bonds with your child. For instance, when teasing or joking about your child, it is beneficial to do in a manner that will not make them feel that daddy or mommy is demeaning them in front of people, especially friends and siblings.
Be Generous With Compliments
In as much as your divinely given authority allows you to rebuke and correct your child, the other side of the coin also demands you compliment them. When your kid does something and you end up in a situation where the glass is half–full, don’t chide them for the half empty side of the glass. Instead, you should compliment them for doing their best to fill the glass half way so that they can have the morale to fill the remaining part. So, what happens where you are generous with your compliments without flattering them or sweeping their shortcomings under the carpet? Here are the wonders that genuine compliments will produce in your child and your relationship with him or her.
- It helps to boost their confidence since you show them that you appreciate their efforts, their imperfections
- It also tells them they are human beings, and hence, you value the human being in them irrespective of the shortcomings of their human doings
Include Them in Your Activities
Do you still want to fortify your relationship with your child? If you do, appreciate the power of including them in family activities that will help to impart life skills on them. For instance, you can take them along with you to the farm or garden if you have one or you may include them in cleaning activities. When doing so, it will be good to share with them on a light note that they will need to do the same things when they get their own homes. This way, your kids will appreciate the good example you are setting for them and see that you care about their future. Additionally, such a move will create room for training and mentorship, leading to increased trust and intimacy.
Show Them Love in a Language They Appreciate
What is more important to your kids than loving them in their own preferred “language?” We all respond to love in different ways. For instance, some kids appreciate love and care when you spend time talking with them. Others may value quality time with you go out there in the field. Other kids may appreciate love when it is communicated in the form of gifts. These points from where your children “feel” and express love more are their personal “love languages,” and hence, you should learn how to “speak” them. If you want to improve your relationship with your child, mind your language of communicating to them. This way, you will be telling them that you value and accept them the way they are.
Don’t Jump the Gun
If you want your relationship with your child to develop, engage them at their level. Never run ahead of yourself and pull them to a level their maturity cannot handle. If they are still at the age of cajoling, then cajole; but don’t advice or rebuke them.
Know How to Impose Boundaries
Lastly, we come the most difficult part— imposing boundaries. The reason is that all humans are naturally rebellious and they don’t love boundaries. If you don’t want your delimits to spoil your relationship with your kids, explain to them (depending on their age) that every boundary you set seeks to make them secure and advance their highest good. This way, they will see your care for them unlike where you impose them with the macho man syndrome of wanting to show them that “you are in charge.” If you put yourself in the center, it will breed rebellion and resentment.
Here we rest our case. Writing more and more will not serve you any better since implementing these precious nuggets of wisdom is the only way of taking your relationship with your children to the next level. Happy parenting.