One of my mentors in school once told me that you should rise in love, not fall into it. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I have since been trying to look for the man who adds and not subtracts from me. Unfortunate? Because I am still single. But being the observer that I am, when I look around me and see the couples in my circle, things don’t seem as black and white as one would want them to be. We recently held a poll asking our readers whether they were happy in their relationship. Based on the response you gave, which was very close to 50-50, here’s a blog analyzing the results for you.
Moving forward with Happiness
To those of you who are happy in their relationship, there’s nothing more to say except congratulations. I hope that this happiness that you have found stays just as strong forever. Now, for that to happen, you need to work. For those whose relationships aren’t very old, it is sad to state that sometimes that spark goes out once the chase is over. Don’t push too hard to cling on to that spark. Instead, observe the things that bind you as a couple. Try to enhance these and work on more things in common between you.
For those who have been together for a long time, it’s time to start planning for the future. Invest your time into thinking about where you see yourselves in the next 10 years or so. Are you ready for the next step? Do you see yourself marry each other? These things need to be thought about and discussed so that they don’t create a problem in a relationship.
Coming to those who know they aren’t happy with their current relationship. I don’t know what it is that is holding you back from moving on, but let me tell you, being sad, is doing no one any good. If, however, you can’t do that, here are a few things that should help rekindle your happiness. Firstly, find yourself. Sometimes we get so lost in our relationship, that our identity as an individual disappears. While you may not feel it, in the beginning, the sadness that follows, shows.
Second, remember that happiness is a fickle state. So, aim for contentment. You and your partner should be able to contribute something in each other’s life that none of you can find elsewhere. Find that thing, and you’ll go a long way.
Maybe you fall in the zone where you can’t decide whether you are happy in your relationship or not. This state of indecisiveness about your state of happiness needs to be resolved. Not only do you need to assess your relationship, but also your role in it. Many times, it’s our whims that make us and our partner unhappy. Without realizing it, we subject ourselves to a behavior that strains the relationship.
I had a friend who had the best boyfriend anyone in our school could possibly get. Yet, her own attention seeking behavior caused them to drift apart. Not that she did it intentionally or wanted to make herself and her boyfriend miserable, yet it happened all the same. Thus, make sure you have analyzed every aspect of your relationship. It’s always better to have definitive answers.