The transition from one generation to another always brings challenges of its own. But no transition ever has brought about as significant or drastic changes as those that have been introduced with the Millennials. One topic that has always caused friction among the millennials and other generations, or even within the millennials, is that of marriage. One such poll was held on our website a while ago and the results are in. so, what did the majority choose, and why?
The Growing Popularity of Love Marriage
The results will not shock many as they favored Love Marriage. While arranged marriages have been a long-standing tradition of our society, it seems that every passing generation wants to break free from it. I believe one of the key things to be understood for better grasping this shift is the technological revolution and globalization that marks the millennials generation. Now, this doesn’t mean that their minds have been poisoned by the radical or liberal ideas of the West. Ideas that in all sense go against the Indian values. But their minds have been opened to opportunities.
While women weren’t allowed to leave their city (a significant number still aren’t), they do so now for education or work. Social media or dating apps like Tinder, have brought us in touch with so many people from different parts of the country and the world. We are exposed to a variety of cultures and lifestyles, and from all this, we formulate the life we want to live. So, the idea of going for that one guy, with a good job, and a nice background, from your religion or community, just doesn’t fit anymore.
What do the Statistics say?
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According to UNICEF:
- Divorce rate for arranged marriages in India stands at 1.1%
- Global rate of divorces for arranged marriages is at 6%
- 18% women in South Asia are forced to marry before the age of 18.
Are arranged marriages then supposed to be taken as the better model? Well, it is also a fact that the values that have been inculcated in us are that of sticking together no matter what. All of you reading this have probably been across more couples whose marriages were arranged. Most of these are just going with the flow. The whole idea of marriage in our society is based on procreation, from what I understand of it. Love is a very second-rate issue here. You marry because it is a social necessity and divorce is societal suicide. Thus, in order to protect the dignity of your family and the future of your children, one puts us with whatever they face. Once again, statistics fail to show a clear picture.
We still are where we began. Love marriage or Arranged? After a lot of thinking and debate on the matter, I have come to realize that it is a matter of personal growth. How so? Well, the reason love marriages aren’t as successful as they are popular is that people don’t know what they want. In India or the West, the situation is the same. One then first needs to focus on understanding themselves. As Tracy Macmillan said in her TEDx talk ‘The Person You Really Need to Marry’,
“What I’ve found through a lot of trials and obviously, many, many, many errors, to be the thing that has transformed my life and love, and that is this idea of marrying yourself. It is as big as marriage itself except, if I could just summarize it, it would be that you enter into a relationship with yourself and then you put a ring on it. In other words, you commit to yourself fully.”
So, maybe if we understand who we really are, even arranged marriages can work out just fine. Or we’ll be able to find the right man for ourselves all on our own. Better yet, we might realize, marriage is just not our cup of tea after all.