The decision to get married is the most crucial one that you’ll make in your life. Equally crucial is choosing the person you want to get married to. While the culture of divorce has found its way to India as well, no one sets out with the aim to end their marriage. Till death do us part is a vow that both the partners want to abide by. We recently held a poll asking you whether you wanted to marry your present partner. The results are in and pretty interesting too. For the first time, we have had an exactly 50% result. So, why are you with the man you don’t want to marry? What should you look out for if you do? Here’s a blog to guide you through the process of marriage.
I DO! DO I?
Well, congratulations if you have found the man or woman that you want to marry. Not everyone is able to find the right person for a long time. So, you are one of the lucky few. Yet, like I said, this isn’t a decision to be taken lightly. Keep a few things in mind before you walk down the aisle.
Most importantly he should be respectful. Not just towards you, but everything that makes you and towards life in general. Consider well how he treats your parents. Does he extend the same love towards them as he does towards his own parents? What does he think about your worldview? Does he respect it even if he doesn’t agree with it? What does he think of your friends? Your ideologies? If he respects everything about you, then make sure he also respects others too. People change after they get married. If he isn’t a respectful man in general, he might turn on you too. A man who genuinely respects you will remain loyal to you as well.
But how do you feel when you are around him? Do you feel relaxed? By relaxed I mean, is it easy to be yourself around him? If you have to keep up appearances in order to please him, then you are living a lie. Not every guy who promises to bring the stars for you is in love with you. There are those who won’t promise things they can’t get, but will never shy away from doing everything in their power to get things that they can get. Look out for these things before taking the final decision.
Why don’t I?
Maybe you don’t want to marry him. Know that there is a difference between you don’t want to and you can’t. From what I can think of, there can only be three reasons behind this. (1) you don’t think he’s the right guy, (2) you never had marriage on your mind for this relationship, or (3) you are just not ready yet.
For the first reason, I suggest you start breaking off and moving on. There is no point wasting your time with a man you know for sure isn’t right for you. If you are at the age where you can think of marriage, there is no point staying in a relationship for something that doesn’t have a future.
For the second reason, again I would say that wasting your time isn’t ideal. Maybe your partner has a long-term thing in mind. So, you either make your intentions clear and act accordingly or break them free. Lastly, if you are not ready, then there is no haste. Maybe you’ll never be ready, and that’s fine too. Just make sure your partner knows this as well.
Did I marry myself?
Finally, the most important thing is marrying yourself. This means being independent in all the ways that make you independent. Emotionally, financially, mentally, etc. If you depend on someone for anything they will always have an upper hand. Marrying yourself also means knowing yourself. Are you sure you know what you want? Have you tried everything that life has to offer?
Think about life as a bachelorette too. There are many experiences that won’t come back to you if you let this time go. So, first make sure you have lived your life as a bachelor. This is the most effective way to know who you really are. Once you do, decisions like these will be much easier for you. I hope you have a happy future no matter what you decide.