Marriage could be an extremely rocky terrain if you aren’t prepared for it. Whether it is love or arranged, you have to remember that you are going to share the rest of your life with someone. It is imperative for you to understand this institution fully as to” what it means to you”, “to your family” and “to the society”. What you need to remember is that at the end of the day, it is us, the individuals who define the marriage. No one can guarantee what happens once you take the plunge. But there are a few things you can do and be aware of as you walk down this road.
Change is inevitable
Changes which will come in your life during the course of your married life are inevitable and thereby understanding and accepting those changes could be your first challenge. Everything beginning from the people you live with, your lifestyle, your priorities, your spending and saving habits will change. You have to be ready for those changes as it will make things easier.
Respect the differences
Remember that every individual is different and unique. Your spouse will also be different. It is these differences of attitude, ideas, habits, personality that you have to respect.
Communication is yet another important element which is required to be present in a relationship. Your spouse can’t read your mind. You need to tell them what you want and be open to listen to their side of the story as well. [Read: How to communicate with your partner ?]
No clash of egos
There would be times when you have o suspend your ego and have to succumb to the midways. You even might have to settle for something which perhaps is less right. But don’t make it a battle of egos.
Plan for your future
Discuss about your future plans once in a while. How do you see yourselves in 5 to 10 years down the line especially as a unit? This will help you to reflect a lot about your present as well as you future. [Read: 7 things you should ask your future partner]
There are going to be a lot of ups and downs. Don’t lose onto yourself or your partner too early. Rather, be ready for the difficult days. Readiness will make things easy and will help you to navigate through difficult times.
Be open to changes
Be flexible to all the changes that will occur. It will only help you to grow and evolve as a unit.
Have your own friends
Once you get married it doesn’t mean you totally cut off from your life. You need to have your own set of friends to hand around with as well as your own hobbies and interests to pursue. Your spouse is a very integral part of your life but not the only part of your life. It is not necessary that you do everything with your spouse. [Read: 6 Ways to create strong and lasting friendships!]
Pre marriage counselling helps you a big way in preparing for your post-marriage life. It facilitates healthy discussions about the expectations from each other and of each other, dealing with fears and notions, discussing the future and the past together with the counsellor.
Learn to adjust your time
As we know that life after marriage will encompass a significant change in your priorities, managing and adjusting your time will be a huge requirement. As a couple, each one you would be requiring each other’s attention and therefore some major changes in your routine will happen.
Acceptance of responsibilities
With marriage comes an absolutely different set of roles and responsibilities. Accepting those responsibilities with your prior ones and fulfilling them will be a yet another challenge. Therefore, be ready for that as well.
Learning to share
Marriage itself means to share to your entire life with someone. Therefore, almost everything about you and almost everything you have will be shared. Hence, maximum sharing will also be a requirement and expectation from you.
Learning to be more patient
With increase in responsibilities and life related problems, you will be required to practice more patience. Losing your control, becoming more verbal could turn out to be very detrimental for your married life. Therefore, start learning to be more patient.
Learn to manage your finances
You will need to learn to plan your monthly expenses and long term investments. Insurance, medical expenses travel and housing- all will be required on your list. So, always discuss about the finances with your spouse and family. Be open about your income and expenses as it will also build the trust between you. [Read: 7 Problems in a relationship you need to fix right away!]
With these mental preparations, you can definitely plan to go ahead and venture into this rocky road. Just remember that nothing can surpass the preparation of a married life with your correct decisions. You just have to build the right mindset.
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