We love expressing our affection for our partners either through words or actions. However, you might unknowingly cross the line between being clingy and being a good girlfriend. This is not to imply that being clingy is a crime. If your man enjoys that, go ahead be clinger. However, generally men try and avoid clingy girlfriends. What makes drawing a line difficult is the different ideas people have about being clingy. That is, what is clingy for someone may be exactly the idea of love for someone else. It is a subjective. Hence, debatable to a great extent. To be very clear right at the onset, clingy girlfriends shouldn’t be demonised. They are as good as those who try and maintain considerable distance in relationships.
It is important to know what makes people clingy. This has much to do with their childhood experiences. People who have had lesser attention all throughout, seek more acceptance and attention. Lack of acceptance makes them scared and insecure about their present relationships as well. They don’t want to let go people they love the most. People have different ways of looking at love and either of these perspectives work as long as it is acceptable to both in the relationship. However, if you have been accused of being clingy way too many times and are wondering about the signs that make you clingy, here are a few of them you should make note of:
Not giving enough space:
This is the greatest trait that make you a clingy girlfriend, something that men don’t generally like. You need to let your man do what he likes according to his own convenience. Sometime people just want to be on their own to settle other priorities in life. Expecting your man to be around you 24/7 is the worst thing you could do. This is not realistic. Let him be on his own. Let him bounce back when he wants to. He will definitely appreciate it and love you more.
Wanting to be on the call 24/7
This is just madness I would say. Of course you may love him and want to have his presence either physical or virtual; but this is almost like caging him and keeping him away from other things/people that influence his life. Initially this sounds great. You man might be equally enthusiastic about it as well. However, as the relationship goes through a mature phase and eventually it settles down, it is quite possible for your man to wish to avoid talking for long hours and instead utilise it in productive work. In case he tell you directly that you are actually being too clingy, try calling him less for a few days. He will want you more!
You wish to have a say in his decisions all the time:
You have to accept the fact that he can have a life of his own where he has the right to decide on what works best for him. You are not the only person who is the sole well wisher. When you fell in love with him, you loved him for the way he was. Back then those people that he cares about were an influence on him. Not all people he knows will be great but you have to trust his instincts. He will know what is best for him and will always act accordingly. With you or without you, he will know what to do. That is basic human instinct. SURVIVAL!
You don’t let him be around attractive women:
You are insecure and are always protective around him when there are better looking women around. You always feel like he might just go away if he gets in touch with them. This only reflects your lack of confidence. If he loves you there is no way he will have his eyes on other woman. And accept this: Men will be men! Their eyes will wander. In case it makes you uncomfortable, make him uncomfortable too! There is no point being insane about a third person’s influence on your relationship. What has to stay, will stay. Trust your intuition.
You doubt his feelings for you:
You are always suspicious of his whereabouts. Your relationship still doesn’t rest on a solid foundation. If you constantly doubt his feelings, you are bound to be clinging to him all the time for the fear that you might lose him. You need to talk to him about what’s making you feel that way about his love for you. If he is not convincing enough then you need to rethink about your status in the relationship.
While it is always great to give space to your partner in the relationship, you should always be aware of your position. Make sure that you get the respect you deserve instead of feeling like the lowest in the priority list.