How to build a happy relation with in-laws for a happy marriage
Marriage is the most anticipated and desired for a normal, healthy, young girl. Beware married life is not just about you and your husband. Marriage, a stage of life comes with huge responsibility of dealing with your man and his family. 90% of the expectation that a girl has from wedlock will remain a dream. So as Fawn Weaver says, “happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice”. Here are a few tips that will be a help to the newlyweds.
The most complex task for a girl is the relationship with in-laws. Believe me, it’s not a mean task at all. The best person to know your in-laws is your husband, try to find out what they do and don’t like. So you can act accordingly. The efforts you will make to have a blissful married life might not be acknowledged at first but eventually they will be. The name of the game is ‘don’t give up patience’.
Respect is one thing that will give you the first digit to the code of the lock. Try to build a healthy friendly bond with the in-laws. Use your, ‘Please’ and ‘Thankyou’ lavishly.
Sympathyize with them. They have raised him for decades and will see you as opposition. Recognize it and be sympathetic towards them. Try finding common interests and spending time with them. It will slowly help remove the fence.
Admiration is really important. Make your mother-in-law feel valued of the efforts she had been doing for years. Admire her for how wonderfully she had brought up her son. When you have children take advise her from her regarding raising your kids.
Patience. This will be a challenge but it works. Make them feel comfortable with the idea that you are not a challenge to their proficiency or authority. A word of advice from them for techniques and help whenever there is an issue of managing the house. There is no harm in listening, but you don’t have to accept everything they say.
Appreciate by saying things like, ‘wonder how they were able to do so much’. Kitchen is mostly a sensitive issue with the mom-in-law. It needs to be handled with caution. After all she was in-charge here for ages. She thinks it’s her space. You can always start with other activities in the household. Remember to marvel her administrative skill to others and say one day you would like to be like her.
Good manners. If they are bit harsh with you, try to ease the tension by being polite. Don’t drag in your husband into the tussle. Remember they are his parents and he would not like to be disrespectful to them. And this will make both resentful. If he is not taking your side it certainly does not mean that he does not love you.
You are new here in this family so it is you who has to make a place here. In-laws will give you a place but little patience and determination will give you a place you desire. It will become a family you wished for. Make amendments in yourself rather than trying to change them.
As a wise women said, “marriage is a gamble”. Play it like a pro not an amateur, you will score more and have more in hand. Low expectation and presence of mind are the best bet to achieving success. Have a blessed bond!