Growing up in an Indian household, we can very well imagine the stigma associated with making your own life decisions. From choosing what to wear at farewell parties to deciding a career, we all have faced severe disapproval and while some of you were stubborn enough to take decisions on their own, others simply gave in and let their parents take all decisions for them. So, if you come across a woman who has decided to stay childfree, let’s live and let her live and respect her choices. There are things not to say to a woman who doesn’t want kids.
Who will take care of you when you’re old?
This is simply not a thing to bring up as we all are well aware of increasing number of old people in old homes who have been sent to these homes by their own kids. I know many friends who settled in different countries and never bothered about going back and meeting their parents. Honestly speaking, having kids is no guarantee that you won’t end up all alone when you are old. So, stop asking such senseless questions to the woman who wants to stay childfree.
Why did you get married even?
Without any doubt, this is a ridiculous question to ask someone. Marriage is not a name of continuing your legacy. There are many other reasons why one gets married. Being in love is surely a reason why people get married but not this. If you get married because you wanted to get married then chances are: your marriage won’t survive for long because you overlooked many aspects because you were only concerned about having kids.
What will people say?
From your neighbors to your relatives, everyone is going to point out fingers at you for choosing to be child free. So, coming up with this and saying this to your friend who does not want to have kids will only exasperate her. People will keep gossiping as this is their favorite hobby and you cannot stop them from doing so. What you can do is ignore them whilst you carry on with your own choices. The fear of being accepted and appreciated should not let you make a decision that will make you feel miserable otherwise. Because if you give up on your choices because you are scared what people will say then you deserve it.
You are selfish:
Just because someone decides to defy norms set by society and live the way they want to do mean we start calling them selfish. Being selfish means you only think about yourself and do not care about how it effects other people. Having no kids is not going to affect anyone else in anyway then how is it selfish even? So, selfish is not the word you should label them with. You can choose to call them focused or courageous to follow their dreams but in no way can you use the word ‘selfish’ for them.
It is essential to realize that some decisions are yours and yours alone and you have to learn to simply stick to them without giving explanations. Furthermore, if we come across someone who does not conform to society norms and decides to live life according to their own rules, we must never judge them.