There are few people who just trigger us. They might be our close ones, friends or relatives and they will be present everywhere. They bring out the worst in us- be it pain, anger, impatience or hostility. You can’t just lock them away or avoid them because it is not possible at all. Difficult people drain us of all our mental strength. But can we stay away from such people all the time? No, we have to deal with them. There are a few people who seem to handle the bullheaded people in an easy way. They are extremely mature when it comes to handling them.
When someone always repeatedly demands and drains you, how can you be compassionate with them? How can you be patient with someone who is negative minded and hateful all the time? Well, not everyone is a saint and we tend to snap one or the time because it is just hard to deal with difficult people. But don’t stress yourself or get affected by their negativity. Here are few ways in which emotionally strong and mature people deal with the difficult people.
Realization Of Who They Deal With
Emotionally mature people have a strong sense of understanding. They know when they are dealing with an illogical, stubborn and immature person. Difficult people know how to make others morning hell just because their ‘alarm didn’t go off at right time’ while yours went off perfectly fine. It is up to you to realize that they are immature and they will never change. Emotionally strong people know it and they know that difficult people won’t get their act together and showing them the mirror won’t get them anywhere, they’ll just argue more and more and defend themselves. A debate with them is useless.
Try Not To Assume Or Judge Them
If you have dealt with a difficult person you know how their mind works, how they are always immersed in negativity. It is obvious that you will judge them for it. But try not to judge them. Know that they will not just wake up one day and act differently. This is how they are and have been for long. Stop judging them or reacting to their negativity, instead come out with a little bit of positivity that you can because that’s what an emotionally strong person does. Try not to expect the worst out of them instead act in the positive way you want them to.
Silence To The Rescue
We are so used to react to the negative behavior that we never step back instead of correcting them. It has become your second nature to correct them and scold them. You see maybe that’s where you are going wrong. Sometimes the right thing to do is to put on a quite frontier and step back. Let the person realize themselves. Emotionally smart people know when to stop and pat themselves for pushing the person to come to a realization. So resorting the silence will be the best thing to do.
Presence Of Mind And Mindfulness
Presence of mind is really necessary if you know you are going to deal with a difficult person because you know much patience they will test. You have to practice a lot of mindfulness so as to not get lost in the feelings and thoughts. You’ll feel the urge to respond to their negative behavior. But you have to learn to control the urge like just any emotionally strong person would do. Mind your thoughts, rationalize them and don’t become a negative person. Learn to take few deep breaths and become conscious. Knowing how they’ll behave, become aware of it, change your reaction or control yourself.
Know What You Are Getting Out Of It
If you have ever noticed, you’ll figure it out that an emotionally strong person always comes out as a bigger person in the negative situation. Why is it so? How can they remain so composed all the time? The answer to this is that they are honest with themselves. They have learnt it that difficult people will push their buttons and bring out the worst in them. They have grown and they no longer are triggered by difficult people. Same way you have to know that all the way while dealing with negative and difficult people you have grown to be caretaker, you have grown to be a mature individual.
Some way this person has helped you and you can clearly see that you still haven’t given up on this person because somewhere you do know they are important for you. Question yourself about this and you’ll come to a realization that yes even you have gained something out of them. Though you can’t change the way a person thinks, acts or reacts but you can definitely change yourself.
We often shut out the difficult people because we find them hard to deal with sometimes, but later on we feel a twinge that pinches our heart for being rude to them. We feel guilty for shutting down on them. Somewhere in our mind we already know that difficult people are unhappy. They need reassurance. They are complex people from inside and we can’t understand their mechanism. Although this fact doesn’t excuse their behavior, it certainly doesn’t mean we have to suffer it. Learn to be empathic for your own good. Difficult people are the way they are and they will never change. So just let it go. A simple ‘Hey, its okay’ reassurance will be enough to pacify the difficult people and peace for you.
Don’t Hold A Grudge Against Difficult People
Emotionally strong people know what kind of people they are dealing with and they always are aware of the nature of difficult people, that’s why they easily forgive the mistakes of difficult people. They don’t take everything personally.
Difficult people never know how much they irk you because they only think about how much sad or let down they feel in their life. They are not even aware of the effect they have on you. Whenever they trigger the worst in you don’t hold it against them because you are straining yourself. Learn to forgive them. Forgiving doesn’t mean accepting their behavior though. It means seeing past their behavior and growing yourself.
To Maintain A Relationship Based On The Reality As It Is
You can wish that your friend or the difficult person in your life is going to become positive one day, let me tell you it is just wishful thinking. You might feel bad about them and would want to help them be a better person. But it just doesn’t work that way. You can never mold a person’s behavior in the way you want. So just let them be. Accept the reality, accept them as they are. Maintain your relationship on the basis of reality as it is.