The Kamasutra: Hindu Marriages and the significance of Holy Fire!

 The KAMASUTRA by Vatsyayana is the world’s antiquated handbook on the pleasures of physical living, so much so that it is the only detailed analysis of a work which has continued to live or exist providing versions of that era of ancient history. Its not just about a mere record of gymnast sexual positions, for the KAMASUTRA provides a complete guidebook of living for a better, satisfying life.The fundamental conception of the KAMASUTRA, is that in order for marriages to be blissful, both the man as well as the woman should be well- cultured in the artifice of pleasure, both erotic and sensuous including the mode of cerebral respectively.

The themes exploring culture, civilization and societal ideologies not only incorporates a detailed information on what a man must do to gain over a woman and vice-versa, but also intends to additionally classify male and female physical types and their closeness and attraction with their partner’s body.  Keeping this in mind, this present article on the KAMASUTRA, illustrates the various kinds of marriages which in accordance to Vatsyayana, are not only looked upon as the social establishment but also as a true fusion of the two souls.





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When a woman is unsuccessful to meet the man over and over again in a private lonesome place, she generally addresses the daughter of her nurse who is very friendly and reliable to him. The girl sent by the woman then after meeting him begins conversing on various topics such as say, birth, good nature, the physical attractiveness, ability, accomplishments, positive sides of human nature and finally expresses before him the affection of the girl, but performs the entire act in such a manner so that he remains unaware of the fact that she has actually send the daughter of her nurse to him.

In this way she becomes triumphant in growing the seeds of love and admiration for the woman at the sensitive nature of the man’s emotions and tenderness. The same tactic is applicable in case of the woman as well. Here the daughter of the nurse narrates all the excellent, distinguished, remarkable, and noteworthy habits of the man which has all the special charms in making a woman to get attracted towards the manly traits as mentioned. She criticizes and disapproves all the other lovers of the woman and the contradictory particulars about their parents as well.


In the course of action of wooing over a woman is to have a go-between, a female friend, or what is mentioned as the daughter of the girl’s nurse, so as to engage into a conversation with her and recite her legendary stories where the heroine is in her high spirits and feels blessed and cheerful with the idea of love. She is also seen as narrating some of the tales of the age-old times such as the chronicle of, Shakuntala and other women, who in accordance to their own particular choices lead a blissful life, whereas the women who got married into great families after being bothered and agitated by other wives, became downhearted, pessimistic and destroyed only to feel permanently neglected and worn-out in the process. 

Above all, she also discusses about the good fortune, the everlasting happiness, purity, good behavior, and devotion of the man so that the girl endeavors to relieve her notions of fear about the doubts and worries she has with regard to marriage. In such a way, the girl strongly meets the part of a female messenger by telling about all the affection and good habits of the man and about the ways or struggles he frequently brings about in order to meet her and thus makes an effortto assure her that if the man takes her away compulsorily and surprisingly it should be absolutely fine with her.





 The Kamasutra: Hindu Marriages and the significance of Holy Fire!

Even though it was a casual lifestyle for a wealthy man or official delegates to have as many wives as he desired for, thereby showing off his fame and status in the process, Vatsyayana conveys the impression to have a great affinity for monogamy, in particular from a woman’s perspective: “Woman is a monogamous animal, and loves but one, and likes to feel herself alone in the affections of one man and cannot bear rivals.” Hence, Vatsyayana in Part 3, Chapter 5 of KAMASUTRA, has emphasized on the different forms of marriages solely between two entities which are described as follows:


When a man and a woman have formally agreed to marry both of them eventually takes the initiative to move ahead as a husband and wife respectively. However, it is precisely at this hour, whereby the man must light the fire, scatter a little portion of kusha grass on it, and in accordance to some of the religious offerings move round the fire.

It  is only after the completion of this ritual performance, that both can be considered as a husband and wife by the religious institution and accepted by the society as well. After this legal joining of the two people in the form of matrimony, the man communicates about the event to his parents with confidence because no one can now prevent or speak against the marriage, which is honored as a blessed affair in the presence of fire.


According to the KAMASUTRA, a while later after the completion of the marriage, both the man and the girl, not only increasingly develops feelings of love and affection for one another but at the same time also heralds on the grounds of undertaking responsibilities as spouses, by ignoring the past and giving approval to the marriage and later on acquiring it with warmhearted and soft-on presence and appreciative or flattering conduct. Thus, in this way the man marries the girl.


How does the man persuade the girl who is in doubt?


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Supposedly when the girl is in a  state of uncertainty and doubt and cannot make  up her mind to reach a determined decision or display her desirability towards marriage; the man then brings into play some of the pursuing methods to grab hold of her: On the occasions of a suitable valid time or say random intervals, under any convenient reason, the man seeks one of his female friends with whom he is familiar with, can place confidence in, and also well-recognized to the girl’s family members to bring out the girl from her house and then ensue the faithful and religious ceremonial tradition with fire and thus get all married.


However, if the marriage of the girl is fixed with some other man and the date of union between the two approaches nearer, the would be husband of the girl should be criticized and disparaged not only from the girl’s but also her mother’s mind as well. And when the girl visits a neighbor’s house with her mother’s approval, he brings in the Holy flame of fire from the house of a Brahmin and in this manner gets married with all the divine law.


Sometimes the man tries to become a friend of the brother of the girl and assist him many ways like going to the courtesans, intriguing with the wives of other people and also by sometimes offering him gifts. By engaging himself in all these tasks he succeeds to become a great friend of him and then tells him about the love he obtains for his sister. Since he wins the trust of her brother by this time, he takes his sister out of the house and then the man carries out the sacred customs and practices of marriage in presence of the burning fire.


At some ceremonies or feasts the man arranges the daughter of the nurse to give the girl some intoxicated essence and thus make her loose her consciousness. In this way he brings her to an isolated place away from the public’s eye and begins to enjoy her till the very moment she recovers from the state of dizziness. He then brings in the fire and performs the customs and rituals in respect to the religious sanctions.


The man with the help of the daughter of the nurse, carries off the girl from out of her house and eventually gets bided into sexual activities, before she wakes up followed by bringing in the flames of fire and later on ties the knot and engages themselves as spouses in the stated way.


If the girl is out of her house in the backyard amidst the cultivated plants and flowers, or to the nearby adjoining village the man then comes accompanied by his friend and in the process of frightening them all he manages to carry the girl off and marry her in presence of fire.

Because,” … As the fruit of all good marriages is love, the Gandharva form of marriage is respected… it brings forth happiness, causes less trouble in performance than other forms of marriage, and is above all the result of precious love.”