If emotions are defined as an affective state of consciousness of mixed feelings, then taking things personally is a sign of lower self- esteem and confidence. On occasions when you intend to take things personally, you might be highly sensitive to the verbal expressions or activities of others, or analyze the whole situation in a contradictory way. May be someone tells you something, which you at once take it as an insult, or at times take it for granted that the fellow person doesn’t like you because of their body language when they walk past by. This kind of a situation is utterly depressing and can impair your self-esteem, for when you take things personally it causes you to feel imperfect, remorseful so much so that you get even mad at yourself and by default towards the person concerned.
Remember, when you take something personally it is none other than but a mere echo of your own weakness and insecurities. On a deep-seated emotional level, it may intensify your pessimistic conceptions about yourself as a result of which you begin to falsify even the insights of the real situations. You might without any doubt describe something in a negative way or take it as a personal offense, for you sense that somewhere it reveals your faults and errors as a result of which you feel guilty. This can be very ambiguous if you constantly try to rely on other’s choices and opinions by sidelining your self perception or when you are an out and out perfectionist. When you take something personally, there are probable possibilities that you analyze it in an altogether different way than what was actually expressed.
But do not be afraid, for there is also a remedy to rebuild your self-assurance and morale by learning how to stop taking things personally. Hope this helps you!
FIRST ASK YOURSELF WHETHER THE PERSON CONCERNED is important or not
When you intend to take things personally because of a remark passed by the so called ‘other’ first focus on the relationship shared between you both. Keep asking yourself if the person for whom you felt hurt is by all means important or unimportant to you? Do you always need to approve him or her every now and then in order to be in their good books so as to stop further chaos? Do you think that you are a threat to their level of perception? Do you actually need this person’s consent and approval in all walks of your life? Do they derive pleasure by seeing you sad? I think from all these questions one thing is clear. That the person concerned isn’t of that importance for you always need to struggle to match with their ideologies! Since this kind of people are toxic in their nature, its better that you distance yourself from them. Do you think are all worthy enough to judge you? Obviously not isn’t? So, do not ruin your day because of an insignificant remark that too from an insignificant person. Let them trouble you, for you very well know how to play it safe.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND THAT OTHER’S RUDENESS IS NOT DIRECTLY RELATED TO YOU
When a person is rude to you on certain occasions, remember it is merely a reflection of their own issues. May be the person concerned is not in his or her one of the finest moods, is going through some personal problem or having a bad phase. Hence, it is actually vey important to realize that their rudeness is not directly related to you being at fault. People are no doubt mean and selfish, and yet you deserve respect because you are clear from your side that the person’s behavior towards you doesn’t revolve around you. Controlling people isn’t in one’s hands, but then you must stop taking things personally for your well-being and instead be kind to yourself.
KEEP ON ASKING YOUrSELF THE ALTERNATIVE MEANING TO THEIR REMARKS
If someone’s body language doesn’t give you a positive vibe when they greet you on the street without a smile there are probable chances that he or she might be shy, had certain things already running through their minds which somehow made them distracted before encountering you, and at the most possibly didn’t even notice you properly. If someone is cynical in their approach towards you, it’s because of their own issues and hence it should not ever be taken as a personal attack.
TAKE HOLD OF THE STATEMENTS AND CRITICISMS IN A POSITIVE WAY
Had reading a person’s mind been an easy task life would have been much simpler and uncomplicated, for the question of self-doubt wouldn’t have been arising then. If you are criticized by someone just keep asking yourself whether the points laid front is based on the grounds of solid truth or not, followed by what lesson you can derive from it. If you are criticized, ask yourself if there’s any truth to it, and what you can learn. Take the lessons and let the rest go. Even if it was not communicated in a polite way you can nevertheless still learn something or the other.Moreover, there’s nothing more appealing than gaining knowledge from your personal experience, as well as broadening up your mind-set by witnessing other people’s flaws. In the process of learning from your own experience, you could also learn from the other people’s mistakes as well.Pay attention to the positives in each and every experience because you know that you are not defined by your faults and appraisal.
NEVER JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS IN HASTE
Never ever jump into final conclusions when it comes to judgment or criticism apparently hinted towards you. For you never know that it might not be regarding you at all, and its basically to some extent about them and their individual notions entrusted upon you. In a way it is essentially about their complications, their requirements and their ardent desire to control you and your surroundings. A direct consequence to this is to be aware ofwhat actually makes you feel kind of low and unprotected. When you are conscious of your easily damaged and fragile matters, the things that provoke your sentiments and reactions, you can well prepare yourself by taking time instead of overreacting if the communication that takes place tries to involve you emotionally.Remember your active listening skills will help you to overcome this kind of a situation for you hold back your response till the other person finishes speaking.
TRY TO BUILD A SPACE BETWEEN YOURSELF, YOUR FEELINGS & SENTIMENTS
Alright, so this is something which you usually do that is reacting with emotional responses especially during the initial stage. In almost all likelihood do not follow the involuntary impulse.Take the maximum time to restrain your sensibilities and evaluate what is actually happening before you respond. On a well established level, it is really a very convenient idea to build a healthy personal space in and around yourself. When you bring into being a space or a defense between yourself and the other person personal boundaries have less of a chance of crossing the fine line of disagreements, as a result of which you wont be getting hurt in the process.
ALLOW THE PERCEPTION TO DIFFER, FOR IT’S USEFUL
You know what there are many things which eventually gets disoriented during the course of a conversation. This happens either because we fail to recognize the verbal expression or the gist of the matter which is being before us by the person. This is a common scenario, which essentially acts as a negative energy because this is how we begin to take things personally even before any further analysis. Therefore, in order to avoid this kind of a situation first calm yourself down, take a deep breath and make sure to follow up with questions so that you void things personally when you could have simply clarified the meaning better. Misunderstandings takes place almost all the time, but can also be prevented by asserting the frame of reference of what someone says and interrogating crucial questions.
YOU ARE NOT ANSWERABLE TO ALL
First of all, remember that it is your life and you are not liable to every single soul residing around you. No matter how good you are, or how disciplined you are in your life, there are few people who will dislike you and criticize you even though you had never interfered in their life. Since you cannot change people’s mentality it is not your duty to soothe them with kind words in order to be purposefully into their good books.
BLEND YOUR LIFE WITH SELF-LOVE AND SELF-CARE
It does not really matter what other’s say about you. And since it does not matter there should be less of dependency from your side because your worth is who you are as a whole person despite of them. If you fail to buildup sufficient time to take care for yourself, you are possibly creating immense hollows in your energy field. To be more precise, since you feel fragmented from inside, you are going to judge even a simple issue in a complicated a way, since it will be bothering you time and again. Therefore, sideline others, and allocate to yourself the self-care and love you are worth for, and in this way other people’s gestures and words won’t interfere into your space of thought.
AT THE END YOU ARE NOT ALONE
Life is challenging, and so are the circumstances, but there is no looking back. For you have to overcome all these odds if you wish to lead a peaceful life. To overcome personal issues is quite a difficult task but then you do not have to face it all alone. Remember, when people hurts you and you intend to take their utterances personally, there are well wishers by your side who will help you to recover your emotional wounds. Feel free to speak to them, because it is very important to know that there is a helping hand within your reach, and it is absolutely fine to look for it when required.
Human beings are a diverse part of varying emotions. They hurt us, irritate us, agonize us, but that doesn’t mean you are meek enough to take it all by yourself and not even say a single word in return. First learn to improvise yourself from within, because we intend to rely on others a bit too much. People can console us, sympathize with us for only a few days but then what about the rest of the phases? It is the people who will demoralize you, and it is also the people who will cheer you up, and hence it’s better to take the responsibility on to yourself for a blissful living in order to avoid taking things personally.
Chirasree is highly fond of reading and writing and wishes to create a special niche for herself. She feels that her imaginative skill enhances her potential for writing more. Pursuing literature and an interest in theory and philosophy has inspired her to indulge in books.