Nobody likes to lose. Everyone wants to win regardless of how petty game it is or how big a competition it is. But can everyone win? Accepting defeat doesn’t mean you are fine with it. There always has to be a loser and a winner. Nobody likes losing and some are sore losers. Sulking, losing temper, backlashing are few things that a sore loser does.
How to accept defeat?
Being an adult, we think we wouldn’t get caught in the heat of competition, but we still do. And when we lose, we just can’t accept defeat and end up being a sore loser. You can put everything into it and still lose. No one can go in life without losing. In fact, many successful people are where they are today because at one point of time in life even they had lost something which gave them, even more, motivation to win.
Are You A Sore Loser?
No one will come clean when asked this question. I mean, come on who will agree to their drawbacks. So try answering these questions to find out whether you are a sore loser or not.
- Do you sulk or throw tantrums when you lose?
- Do you think that you won even if others don’t think so?
- Do you put the blame on situations or on people when you lose?
- Do you point out on others fault to somehow remove the attention away from your loss?
These are few questions that you need to answer honestly. If you answered yes to most of these questions then yes, then the chances are high that you are a sore loser.
You’ll see defeat rearing its ugly head more often in life than what you expect. So instead of sulking and throwing tantrums like kids, why not learn how to accept defeat? I m sharing a few ways to deal with defeat:
First Things First- Accept How You Feel
Defeat is a nasty feeling. It is really bitter and hard to deal with, totally agreed! Don’t be harsh on yourself. You’ve to deal with the things that come your way. So just accept it that you’re meant to feel that way.
Congratulate the Winner
Easier said than done. True, but not impossible right? Be a bigger person and go and offer your hearty congratulations to the winner. Whether it was a game, competition, business deal or promotion – it’s not the end of the world. The chance will come again. That’s why you need to have sportsmen spirit and take a step in right direction.
A Lesson to Learn
What is good in losing? Well, a lesson. A lesson to teach you what went wrong something that would have tugged you back sometime in future. This is perfect opportunity to reflect on why you lost. Did you lose because you were not prepared? Did you lose the deal because you and your team gave a poor presentation? Going through it will give you an insight on matters you should focus on rather than wasting your time being a sore loser.
Don’t Play the Blame Game
The most common streak of being a sore loser is a blame game. Losing something which you’ve set your heart and hard work on doesn’t settle well with anyone. Most take the way of blaming others rather than facing it because blaming is easy. You’ve got nothing to lose there, apart from your image in the eyes of others of course. Not only that but you start to adopt it as a habit which makes you look bad. You won’t take responsibility for your own actions and always find fault either in situations or in people. Rather focus on the situation, analyze and make sure you don’t repeat the mistake again.
Look For Guidance
Be a student from the heart. Always. Because the process of learning never ends no matter what age you are. So whenever defeat knocks your door, don’t lose heart. Stay put and seek guidance from someone wiser, someone who can handle the situation better than you, understand better than you. Remember seeking guidance is never the sign of weakness but the zeal to grow.
See the Glass Half Full
Defeats suck. Everyone will agree to this. We all look at the glass as half empty rather than half full. Whenever something doesn’t happen as per our wish we always look at it as a bad thing rather than being an optimist and finding good in it.
Get your head on the right track. Train it to look at the positive side. It goes without saying that risk has to be taken at times and the result might not always be positive. You might lose even after trying so hard. But that doesn’t mean you lose hope. Because losing once doesn’t mean you are never going to win. So always see the glass as half filled instead of half empty.
Keep Your Cool
Even though you feel like screaming your lungs out, even though you feel like beating the crap out of people, even though you feel like throwing tantrum- Don’t. The first thing you got to do as soon as your temper flares is take a deep breath and count backward from 10 to 1 because you really don’t want to lash out. Keep your cool, stay calm and don’t do anything out of temper. If it gets too much just leave the place. Trust me it’s better that way. Be mature enough to deal with the defeat.
Don’t Give Up
Stay in the game. Do not give up on it just because you lost it. Defeat will end up as a failure when you give up. Remember why you started it. Opportunities are endless. You just have to keep your eyes open. Keep on trying, learn from the mistakes you did and come back better. Whenever you feel like giving up just remind yourself why you started to pursue it in the first place.
Improve Your Self-Esteem
Remember, just because you had a setback you are not a failure. The one way to handle the general setback is to improve your self-esteem. Just think it this way that maybe this is a small setback which can bounce off and come back as a larger accomplishment. Just take it easy on yourself. There are ample of opportunities out there you need to catch them and make them your own.
Make a good start by following these tips whenever you lose and come out as a winner next time. Be constructive and optimist when it comes to life. So next time defeat knocks your door, ensure that its visit is brief. Remember this quote by Malcolm X whenever you face the defeat:
Accepting defeat gracefully and retrying always makes you feel fresh. “There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time”