India has been a global destination for spiritual enlightenment besides tourism and trade. For a country that has been deep rooted in its traditional and religious values, dating is definitely an out-of-the-box concept.
Gone are those days where romance blossomed amidst sharing quick glances and shy smiles. Gone are those days where society, especially the elder population, would make a huge fuss about spotting a non married couple together in public. Yes, a few decades back, the very mention of dating used to bring a scowl on faces but now Indians have embraced this western trend to quite an extent. Thanks to Generation Next.
More than 60% of the marriages in India are “arranged” by the families of couples and have evolved as strong bonds both beautiful and bountiful. Here “arranged” means, prospective matches are found on the basis on a horoscope, family background, family finances, caste, creed and language. In short words, the compatibility of the characters of the couple is the last nail that goes down the coffin. Most times it’s even missed.
For that matter dating is definitely a boon!! It’s an activity that could pamper you with the pleasure of meeting the finest people of the opposite sex; eventually sprouting the hope for a romantic relationship with ‘the chosen one’. Read on to know more about the women’s dating game.
Have the Ball
So let’s kick start the game with texting. Once you find a guy (through friends, colleagues or from the virtual world) it’s always safe and good to know each other through texting. Exchanging mails, phone numbers or even chatting online is the way to go. Just make sure you aren’t cluttering his inbox with too many messages (in case if he is too cute or hot) for that would show a desperate side of yours and he may lose interest in you. Relax and go with the flow. It could be probably be a test of your patience and perseverance. Dating is a game where you have to make sure the ball is in your court. If you have the ball you have the game.
B for Bollywood
If A is for apple then B is always for Bollywood. Not bat, not bananas but only Bollywood. Get your facts on Bollywood right, especially with the latest musical and theatrical releases. If asked who your favorite actor is, pick a name from the Khans or the Kapoors for names like Meryl Streep or Robert Downey Jr could make him ‘zone out’. Bollywood gossip, movie reviews and music releases could lead to interesting fun filled conservations during the wee hours of the night. Also through his taste in music and movies you can get to know him better.
The First Date
The first love is always special and so is the first date. Besides the feeling of love there is also a tale of personal victory behind the first date. It’s like video gaming where you successfully complete a level and is promoted to an advanced level with bigger challenges and better bonuses. The first date is a celebration in itself of the completion of one such level. The ideal first date in India is to catch up for a Bollywood movie but you could try something new. It could be as simple as sipping coffee from a local vendor or dining extravagantly in a five star lounge. The choice is yours. Also let your partner do all the pampering.
Respect your Partner
It’s good to be ‘the lady’ in your story but do not take your partner for granted. The common tendencies amongst ‘smart ‘women is to take the guys for ride by making them walk their dogs and pay their bills in exchange of kisses and cuddles. If you expect to be loved and respected by him give him the share of love and respect that he deserves for which snuggling won’t be enough. This is where the art of gifting comes in the picture. A nice gift like an accessory for his bike or car would not just help you win his heart but it could also serve him a sweet reminder of you. Moreover gifts are always taken in open arms by couples who are in long distance relationships. By the way, who said guys don’t like flowers?
Do Not be a Doormat
India has always taken pride in being a male dominant society. According to statistics, the Indian man, the spoilt mama’s boy, spends only 19 minutes (on an average per day) for unpaid routine housework. It wouldn’t be surprising to see a woman doing all the cleaning and washing at her partners place just to fit into his frame of an ideal partner.
Lending a helping hand to your partner in his activities is fine. Overdoing may lead you to trouble. Always remember that your partner is not a spoon feeding baby but an adult capable of doing things on his own. Doing something special is a good way to get into his good books. Let us take cooking for an example. A candle-lit dinner with one of his favorite dishes could be an excellent idea only if he hasn’t started to imagine you also feeding his family, friends, co workers, a whole bunch of relatives and the cows and goats at his back yard!!
Indian men can tend to be really lazy (no offences) even if they have to woo a woman. Most rich men, let their cars, bikes and geeky gadgets to all the talking than take some real efforts to make a good impression on lady love. Such men are all sizzle but no steak. Unlike what is shown in movies or TV advertisements, sensible women do not fall for bikes stunts and car racing gimmicks. A romantic inclination towards a man on the basis of such factors can lead to a boring and mundane affair.
To make a correct evaluation, a man must be first diverted from his position, financial standing, academic background, personals sentiments and so forth. The true value of a man cannot be recognized until he casts off all vain ornamentation. Sharply discern what he is and what he has when he is completely unadorned. You cannot do this if you are blinded by love.
Compatibility in Activity
Compatibility is a crucial factor while dating. A decade ago, ‘compatibility of the looks’ was important to couples and was judged on the basis of physical attributes such as height, weight or even skin color. But now both men and women look at a wide range of other aspects of their partner’s personalities.
‘Compatibility of interests’ is of great significance if you want to take the relationship to the next level. A lovely and fun filled relationship could be spun around a bunch of common or mutual interests. An interesting way to explore these ‘areas of interest’ is by planning an activity over the weekend or leisure hours. An activity that could give you and your partner some room to rack brains as well as add a tinge of fun and frolic in it. Let’s take baking a cake for an example. You can plan and decide on the recipe and get him involved with you in its preparation. Not only that you can tutor him with a few tips on baking but enjoy mild flirtations while melting the chocolate. Even a round of muddy soccer in the rain could also be good idea.
Communication Does Matter
A man in love would always want to listen to the voice of his lady love. The sweet nothings and careless whispers could make a huge impact in your relationship in a positive way. Conversations should be friendly and casual rather than serious arguments as in the latter the focus would be on to prove your point or be a victim of blame game. A conversation is a beautiful collaboration of two people sharing their emotions, perceptions and notions so that they could get a better understanding of what reality is.
And in this age of advanced technology, absence doesn’t make your heart go fonder anymore. With the rise of smart phone applications you can be in touch with your partner 24×7. With video chatting software like Skype and Gmail, long distance communication is a child’s play!!
Meeting the Family
Meeting each other’s family is a major milestone in a relationship which a woman heads for at any cost. An important parameter in a committed relationship is ‘meeting the family’ which if impatiently handled could lead the relationship to a dead-end. Moreover Indian parents are still conservative and primitive when it comes to dating for which the ‘meeting’ can be a very tricky affair. It would be clever to hone your linguistic skills, mannerisms and dressing according their likes and customs.
Keep Emotions at Bay
Wooing and dating a man of your choice is not as easy as it sounds. As mentioned earlier, it would be nothing but a test of your emotions. Hastily heading into one thing after another can make you run out of steam. Falling in love is not a mere emotion but a decision so be clear of what you want than be on the fence. It would be foolish love in which you recklessly chase after a man. Instead, it would be wiser to display a sufficient spirit so that you can take charge of your emotions. This befits a true modern woman.
Nimmy Kuttappan shoved her Bachelor’s degree in Engineering in her granny chest and commenced a journey of penmanship. For her there is no life without books, black tea, and her phone and of course red wine. Besides marvelling at the works of Tolstoy and Rumi or cuddling puppies, she fascinated with snow-capped mountains, landscaped meadows and serene oceans. With an intention to inspire others, Nimmy writes and blogs for social media platforms, websites and a few NGOs. Plus, she is addicted to love and happiness.