At some point of time, we all struggle so hard to hold something back, to not let something slip away from our grip, to accept that we do not have more control over something. Yet, the more we try to hold that ‘something’ back, the more it hurts us. This something can be a loved one, a relationship or an object. It can be anything, but we find it hard to let that thing go away. So what holds us back from letting go? Is it the fear of surrendering to others’ decisions? Is it the stubbornness of our ego which cannot accept defeat? Or is it our unwillingness of acceptance?
And, when you go through that phase, you try everything you can from breathing exercises to meditation or psychology, it seems nothing can help you out from that acute agony, nothing can ease your pain and sufferings. Every available online article fails to give you the comfort; every theory goes out of the window. When you die a thousand deaths inside while pretending to be calm, composed and totally under control, in reality, you want to scream at the top of your voice, you want cry your heart, you want to say “No, I am not okay!” to whosoever asks you about your wellbeing. But as you have social obligations, the grief slowly overwhelms your thought process making you feel like a loser and you gradually start giving in to depression.
But what if I tell you that letting go is not as difficult as it appears? What if I tell that all you need is to learn the overall procedure? Yes, the procedure makes the task easier to achieve.
FIX A TIME FRAME
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First, give yourself a timeframe or a deadline. Say, a week or two or, maybe, a month. This timeframe is for being unhappy as much as you want to be. Yes, it may sound weird, but I am asking you to turn into a crying baby. Cry, feel bad about yourself, watch films with tragic ends, read the best tragic love stories, listen to all the melancholic sad-tracks, curse your ex, rant about everything which went wrong between you two.
Soon, the intensity will be less. The ache will feel less painful. You will get bored crying over the same issue for so long that you would crave for happiness. Yes, we humans are programmed in a way that we cannot take too much of anything for too long. So your mind will seek happiness. Therefore, it’s time to indulge yourself in absolute happiness. Go out with friends, shop till you drop, have a makeover, give yourself a grand treat at your favourite food joint, go for any brainless movie which will give you enough reason to hurt your stomach laughing and you will feel alive again.
ENJOY WHATEVER LIFE OFFERS
The moment you will start enjoying your life back, you will no longer want to go back to that black period of depression. At the same time, your mind will no longer feel the urge to remember that person or the memories attached to that relationship. Yes, your mind has subconsciously moved on paving way for you. Remember, letting go does not mean denial of truth or repressing your emotions.
It’s about understanding the power of acceptance, unconditional acceptance of truth, and unleashing negative memories from the chains of our hearts.